You know you're getting old when...

When your ball sac is swinging like an old grandfather clocks pendulum between two old knobbly knees..

 

American pie is nearly 20 years old

 

* *. That's mental.

 

When Mouthwash really counts

 

When you find a stray hair on your * that's longer than any hair that you have had on your head in years.

 

I can fully understand why you pulled the plug on becoming a Pirate

 

Yeah we like you to think that

 

And we guys always say, when you ask the question, "No darling, of course your * doesn't look big in those trousers or that dress "

 

Oh * how we lie

 

When you can't be arsed to shave a load that goes halfway up your todger..

 

Kids born in 2000 will be 18 next year...

I'm only 21 and that * with my mind everytime I hear it.

 

When you go weeks without seeing some of your closest pals, and instead it's family or a gf/wife/partner that fill that void instead.

 

When your little toe nails go hard and crusted.

 

Depends if it's fallen off her wig when she goes down on you after taking her falsers oot.

 

I catch myself saying to folk in their early 20s who i work with "when i was your age".

Im 28.

 

I do that, too.

I'm 25.

 

I'm usually on the receiving end of that from people around your ages lads, and I can tell you we don't give a *.

 

When I was your age I didn't give a * either.

 

When I was that age, I didn't know much to give a * about tbh

 

I used to have that attitude....When i was your age.