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When was the last time you shat yourself?

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by Padmill, Nov 7, 2017.

Discuss When was the last time you shat yourself? in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

  1. HoopswithPride

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    No shat myself since I was a wean. Had a few close calls.

    About a year ago I went out for a run. Got stomach cramps half way through my run. Had to jump into a field and empty my contents. Wiped my * with my boxers and bolted hame to the safety of the toilet pan.
     
  2. Gioventu Slicka than ya average

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    Playing footy at the park when I was 10, gasping on a dump and the house was locked. Let go in the park bushes and wiped it up with the boxers. Mum recognised them whilst walking the dog a few days later and a few awkward questions were raised.
     
  3. Bobo_ Gold Member Gold Member

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    I believe it's known as 'turtle heading'
     
  4. LV426 Gold Member Gold Member

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    he had an * like the start of bonaza
     
  5. Green And White

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    Been touching cloth a few times but never full on shat myself.
     
  6. Twisty 9 in a row Gold Member

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    Capture.png
     
  7. SeanBhoy7

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    Every time Craig Gordon kicks the ball.
     
  8. Albian Ajeti Here we go, 10 in a row Gold Member

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    Before the wife and I were married, we made an extremely hot curry one night using scotch bonnets, birds eye chillies and a bottle of 100% pain sauce. Next day, we drove up to Glencoe and did a bit of hiking. On the way home, we went for a maccies drive thru and both stupidly got a coffee as our drink. I was driving along the motorway when I had to come off it at whitburn, my guts were ready to burst. No way was I making it back home. Parked somewhere, told her I was going to look for a shop, then hid behind a block of flats and let rip. Had to use my boxers as bog roll. Went back to the car telling her a shop owner let me use his toilet.

    Another time, at a RHCP gig at Hampden, I was out my face after a 70cl of JD and a few pints. Really needed a pish, but I was smack bang in the middle of the crowd. Couldn't be * fighting my way out and back in, so I just stood there and pished in my jeans. :56:
     
    Bhoyo87 and StPauli1916 like this.
  9. Garrymac1888 Gold Member Gold Member

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    Food poisoning in Nairobi, walking like John Travolta one second, the next I am passing athletes getting to my hotel room. Didn't quite make it.

    Spent the next 48 hours lying in the toilet spinning between * and spewing like a * roman candle!
     
  10. Sean Daleer Set the dark on fire Gold Member

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    Dragged myself to a Celtic game once when I was ill. All sorts of fluids and waste were flying out of all ends. Anyway I'm in my seat and start coughing and right there, boof, away it comes.

    Had to take my jumper off and tie it round my waist. On the way home the bus was packed and i was standing in the aisle. Pretty sure some poor * sitting with my * in their face didn't have a pleasant journey.
     
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  11. Bhoyo87

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    Like using scotch bonnets in the cooking from time to time , just the next day you usually pay for it haha
     
  12. CymruBhoy

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    Somethings are better not said . . .:fear:
     
  13. Deebo

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    At least my honesty can't be questioned :39:
     
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  14. Dhan

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    Nothing worse than bursting for a * and your getting near the house and the quicker you walk the more chance its creeping down the dung chute and your scared to fart as well and when you reach the house into the toilet as soon as you are trying to get the kegs aff its trying to to fire out
     
  15. Dhan

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    very true my friend and white boxer shorts are also a big no-no