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When was the last time you shat yourself?

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by Mr. Slippyfist, Nov 7, 2017.

Discuss When was the last time you shat yourself? in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

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  1. Saul Goodman Gold Member Gold Member

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    Never a full on * but I do leave skid marks on my boxers far too much for someone my age.

    Dunno if it's being incapable to carry out normal every day tasks such as wiping my * to the required standard, or if my farts are letting a bit more out than they should be. Either way I feel bad for any * that sits beside me on the bus.
     
    Saul Goodman, Nov 7, 2017
    #21
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  2. Tim-Time 1888 Always look on the bright side of Life Gold Member

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    After reading this thread I almost feel like I have missed out on something special ... :56:
     
    Tim-Time 1888, Nov 7, 2017
    #22
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  3. M.E.T.H.O.D MAN Straight from the slums of Shaolin

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    Can't mind the last time...plenty of times I'd thought it happened. Mostly when very drunk suffering from pre hangover cider shites.
     
    M.E.T.H.O.D MAN, Nov 8, 2017
    #23

  4. WolfOfParkhead

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    Astana 4-1 down. Ntcham cleaned the jocks.
     
    WolfOfParkhead, Nov 8, 2017
    #24
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  5. Sean Daleer Free Palestine Gold Member

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    You've shat yourself many's a times. You were a sheep casual after all. :giggle1:
     
    Sean Daleer, Nov 8, 2017
    #25

  6. The Prof Administrator Administrator

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    Made the big mistake once of eating a very hot curry after a bevvy session, my * was like a * cannon.
     
    The Prof, Nov 8, 2017
    #26

  7. Sean Daleer Free Palestine Gold Member

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    Prof the next morning...

    [​IMG]
     
    Sean Daleer, Nov 8, 2017
    #27
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  8. Mr Shelby Moderator Moderator Gold Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Mr Shelby, Nov 8, 2017
    #28
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  9. TESLA Gold Member Gold Member

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    If I was more severely hungover it would of happened last week on the tram to Edinburgh airport on my way back to Dublin, got on and within 5 minutes I could feel my lower body pulsing for a *, ran into the departures jacks and just let rip, haven't done a more satisfying * in years!
     
    TESLA, Nov 8, 2017
    #29

  10. muffitO'tea

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    Can't remember actually * myself. Had a few close calls though. I'm terrible with milk and have had a few photo finishes sometimes after cereal or coffee.

    Changed to soya milk now. Much better.
     
    muffitO'tea, Nov 8, 2017
    #30
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  11. Pablo87 Gold Member Gold Member

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    Photo finishes :56::56::56::56::50:
     
    Pablo87, Nov 8, 2017
    #31

  12. packybhoy Administrator Administrator Gold Member

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    FFS hope your future pupils don't get wind of this!:rofl:
     
    packybhoy, Nov 8, 2017
    #32

  13. Saul Goodman Gold Member Gold Member

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    True, imagine telling their parents their children's futures depended largely on a man who was incapable of wiping his own * properly.
     
    Saul Goodman, Nov 8, 2017
    #33
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  14. packybhoy Administrator Administrator Gold Member

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    :56::57:
     
    packybhoy, Nov 8, 2017
    #34

  15. Johniebhoy.

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    How come when your really really bursting,the nearer to the pot you get the more it tries to squeeze its ugly wee head out?
     
    Johniebhoy., Nov 8, 2017
    #35
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  16. Gyp Rosetti Gold Member

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    I should have just ordered a replacement season card. :eek1:
     
    Gyp Rosetti, Nov 8, 2017
    #36
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  17. Saul Goodman Gold Member Gold Member

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    :brendy:
     
    Saul Goodman, Nov 8, 2017
    #37
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  18. packybhoy Administrator Administrator Gold Member

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    Same as wee. You do that little up and down dance trying to hold it in. As soon as you get sight of the toilet door, the first anxious dribble comes out. Then you start moving foot to foot until you get every button unstuck on your Jewish 501s.:fear:
     
    packybhoy, Nov 8, 2017
    #38

  19. The Prof Administrator Administrator

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    Mind the time i was up the dancin chatting up a German burd, for whatever reason i began tae lose control of my bowels, luckily the bogs were but an * kick away. :36:



    Do you vont tae dance hen ?
     
    The Prof, Nov 8, 2017
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  20. SeanyBhooy

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    Was on a subcrawl a few years back with my mates around xmas time. Absolutely steaming, drank a bottle of MD before I went on it :99:. Ended up coming out the dancing myself, went to phone my mate as I walked down Sauchiehall street..in that moment I thought to myself - 'I really need a *..actually I've already shat'.
    Bolted down a wee lane off Bath street..my days what a sight :56:. Imagine the worth thing you've ever done..it was like chocolate yoghurt, (I'd also been on the vodka Orange :99:).

    I had to hide behind a bin and whip my boxers off, the * was stuck to my leg hairs and everything, I used my xmas Jumper and a scarf to attempt to clean myself up :rofl:.

    Just as I was trying to get my jeans back on, 3 boys walk up the lane for a *, I scurried behind the bin and hid, crouched down covered in * :rofl:. Luckily they never seen me.

    Ended up walking home that night took about 90mins, I was stinking. Had a game the next day, I was out my face, couldn't run cos my baws were so chaffed from the walk with no boxers..only had 11 players too so I was on for 90mins..torture:rofl:

    EDIT: Still got the jumper btw it was a light up 1
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2017
    SeanyBhooy, Nov 9, 2017
    #40
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