The drunk thread!

Beer should be one of the constant things in a man's life.

Seen the new fosters cans with the widget in them?

 

Ah a Homer Simpson quote

Heres another 1-


Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.

Oh and I'm on the vino :icon_mrgreen:

 

my brother was telling me about them the other day , said he took a stanley to the can to open the * up and see what it looked liked

made out it was great tastin and the widget thing was different to guiness ones .....something like that anyways , i was losing interest listening to him prattle on :icon_mrgreen:

 

Nice hat

Here's more:

Homer:Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try


The Humor Bin - homerisms

 

Give me a watered down pint anyday.

 

i'll get you plenty . instead of water ill * in it :bbpd:

 

BawBag :icon_mrgreen:

 

Let me see your ID ? you dont appear to be 21 ...:rulez: ,drunk thread isnt for minors , i will have to phone your parents

 

Why 21?

 

Cause i make the rules , your names not down and your not coming in

 

Not tonight, not not tonight

 

Too late, already bought the first round, you excluded

 

bad news man , i was going to get the ales in for yous aswell

 

am still in love with the streets ​

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzNkwBeU2Us[/YOUTUBE]​

 

ive had a few the night ... can i come in ?

 

very much welcome..allthough im * so its you in charge when i go

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPT_3PEjnsE[/YOUTUBE]​

 

haha bolt then !!

na mate seriously , boxing starts soon , im rallying the troops !!! im never ever on here at this time usually

 

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else... After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get. I'm not drunk you shilly sit! ?

 

An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result.
He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?" He asks as he puts on an innocent look.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."