1. Having trouble logging in by clicking the link at the top right of the page? Click here to be taken to the log in page.
    Dismiss Notice

SICK joke...

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by aidan_mcanespie, Mar 5, 2009.

Discuss SICK joke... in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

Page 7 of 10

  1. HunSkelper

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    8,090
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Kayal
    Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up Irish Whiskey'
    Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

    Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
     
    HunSkelper, Mar 5, 2009
    #121

  2. Dusty

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2008
    Messages:
    4,643
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Co. Down, Eire
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Artur Boruc, Shunsuke Nakamura
    Fav Celtic Song:
    You'll Never Walk Alone
    Scottish preacher to his congregation: "I don't mind you putting buttons in the collection plate, but please provide your own buttons. Stop pulling them off the church cushions."
     
    Dusty, Mar 5, 2009
    #122

  3. alsybhoy

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Messages:
    23,052
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    in the hoose!!!!
    Fav Celtic Player:
    boruc, larrson,lubo,jinky,
    Fav Celtic Song:
    let the people sing,ynwa,sean south,on the one road
    hear about the german dare devil?



    tried to jump 50 jews on a steamroller!!

    im sorry sick i know:52:
     
    alsybhoy, Mar 5, 2009
    #123

  4. Shakethebarley

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2009
    Messages:
    1,359
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Massachusetts.
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Larsson, Kayal, Hooper
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Fields of Athenry, YNWA


    hahaha
     
    Shakethebarley, Mar 5, 2009
    #124

  5. Dusty

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2008
    Messages:
    4,643
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Co. Down, Eire
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Artur Boruc, Shunsuke Nakamura
    Fav Celtic Song:
    You'll Never Walk Alone
    Why are Scotsmen so good at golf?

    They realise that the fewer times they hit the ball the longer it will last.
     
    Dusty, Mar 5, 2009
    #125

  6. HunSkelper

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    8,090
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Kayal
    Not exclusviley Irish but had me pishing meself,


    A black man starts work on a construction site. The other workers nickname him "Wog".

    Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him "but we all have nicknames. We've got Mick and Paddy, they're Irish, theres Wac from Liverpool. And Mac from Scotland".

    The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men "Mick, Mack, Paddy, Wac leave the Wog alone!"
     
    HunSkelper, Mar 5, 2009
    #126

  7. bebackman

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2008
    Messages:
    576
    Likes Received:
    0
    Fav Celtic Player:
    broony
    Fav Celtic Song:
    willie maley
    it has been announced that jade goody last wish is to be cremated and her ashes put into little velvet purses.
    then every that attends the funeral can go home with a goody bag
     
    bebackman, Mar 5, 2009
    #127

  8. Dusty

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2008
    Messages:
    4,643
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Co. Down, Eire
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Artur Boruc, Shunsuke Nakamura
    Fav Celtic Song:
    You'll Never Walk Alone
    The Scots have found an infallible cure for sea sickness:

    Lean over the side of the ship with a ten pence coin in your mouth.

    :56:
     
    Dusty, Mar 5, 2009
    #128

  9. alsybhoy

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Messages:
    23,052
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    in the hoose!!!!
    Fav Celtic Player:
    boruc, larrson,lubo,jinky,
    Fav Celtic Song:
    let the people sing,ynwa,sean south,on the one road
    oooohhhhhh ffs lol
     
    alsybhoy, Mar 5, 2009
    #129

  10. alsybhoy

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Messages:
    23,052
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    in the hoose!!!!
    Fav Celtic Player:
    boruc, larrson,lubo,jinky,
    Fav Celtic Song:
    let the people sing,ynwa,sean south,on the one road
    * our secret is out now ...* you dusty:icon_mrgreen::icon_mrgreen::icon_mrgreen::icon_mrgreen::icon_mrgreen::icon_mrgreen::icon_mrgreen::icon_mrgreen:
     
    alsybhoy, Mar 5, 2009
    #130

  11. aidan_mcanespie

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2009
    Messages:
    3,292
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Paisley
    Fav Celtic Player:
    McGeady (my bhoy) Larssons Ghod !
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Currently - The Legend Mandela.
    :rofl: :rofl: that 1 cracked me up :rofl: :rofl:
     
    aidan_mcanespie, Mar 5, 2009
    #131

  12. Johnnybhoy

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2007
    Messages:
    2,496
    Likes Received:
    0
    :56::56:
     
    Johnnybhoy, Mar 5, 2009
    #132

  13. HunSkelper

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    8,090
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Kayal
    Two Irishmen are walking down a road when one of them sees a mirror.

    "I'm sure I recognise him from somewhere," he said, looking at his own reflection.

    The other Irishman pushes him out of the way, looks in the mirror and says, "you fekking *, it's me!"
     
    HunSkelper, Mar 5, 2009
    #133

  14. Dusty

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2008
    Messages:
    4,643
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Co. Down, Eire
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Artur Boruc, Shunsuke Nakamura
    Fav Celtic Song:
    You'll Never Walk Alone
    :56: Cracker HS! Enjoyed the duel! :celt_2: Here's one last one!


    In Scotland they had to take pay-as-you-leave buses off the streets - they found two men had starved to death in one of them.
     
    Dusty, Mar 5, 2009
    #134

  15. HunSkelper

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    8,090
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Kayal
    And to you sir, last one of mine aswell then,


    Try saying: "Whale Oil Beef Hooked" With out sounding like an Irish man swearing.

    How do you sink an Irish submarine?

    Knock on the door.
     
    HunSkelper, Mar 5, 2009
    #135

  16. aidan_mcanespie

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2009
    Messages:
    3,292
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Paisley
    Fav Celtic Player:
    McGeady (my bhoy) Larssons Ghod !
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Currently - The Legend Mandela.
    :rofl: keep them coming folks :rolleyes: dinner time, l8r every1 :50:
     
    aidan_mcanespie, Mar 5, 2009
    #136

  17. Dan1888

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2008
    Messages:
    9,956
    Likes Received:
    0
    :56:* just had to laugh at that one belter good one mate
     
    Dan1888, Mar 5, 2009
    #137

  18. Liam Scales

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2006
    Messages:
    82,677
    Likes Received:
    31,777
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Broony
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Celtic Symphony, YNWA, Grace

    found that ironic with a name like whitey:56:
     
    Liam Scales, Mar 5, 2009
    #138

  19. whitey1888

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    530
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Fav Celtic Player:
    heid
    Fav Celtic Song:
    The Soldier's Song
    ma second names white smart * :56:
     
    whitey1888, Mar 5, 2009
    #139

  20. ThatBhoyLarsson

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2008
    Messages:
    6,166
    Likes Received:
    1,824
    Location:
    Kildare, Ireland
    Fav Celtic Player:
    The King of Kings, At the moment Scott Brown, Lustig or Matthews.
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Fields of athenry, YNWA,
    One day a farmer was going too feed his sheep in sligo and a geenie appeard and said I betcha a grand that i can talk too your animals the farmer was confused and said go on then next thing the geenie start talkin too the cows asking them how they are getting treated and all the farmer still couldnt believe it so he goes do it again he started talkin too the pigs and he asked them how are they getting treated and they replied teir gettin the best of * and food the farmer goes I still dont believe you the geenie goes ill go talk too the sheep then the farmer goes dont the sheep are * liers lol
     
    ThatBhoyLarsson, Mar 5, 2009
    #140
Page 7 of 10