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Jokes Thread

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by Dubsbhoy, Jun 22, 2004.

Discuss Jokes Thread in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

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  1. BostonGeorge

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    Alan McGregor goes to the doctors and says every time i have * my eyes burn........Doc replys..........That will be the pepper spray ya * :56:
     
    BostonGeorge, Feb 23, 2010
    #741

  2. Binnie_Bhoy

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    A Lion would never cheat on his wife . . . But a Tiger Wood.
     
    Binnie_Bhoy, Feb 23, 2010
    #742

  3. DannybhoyCFC

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    DannybhoyCFC, Feb 23, 2010
    #743

  4. shaunbhoy67

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    a scarecrow in a field trying to have a *

    hes clutching at straws
     
    shaunbhoy67, Feb 23, 2010
    #744

  5. BostonGeorge

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    A man asks his barber how to treat baldness?? He replys.....the best thing is female love juices!!!.....But you're balder tham me..says the man.....True says the barber....
    But you've got to admit ave got a cracking moustache!!!
     
    BostonGeorge, Feb 24, 2010
    #745

  6. shaunbhoy67

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    shaunbhoy67, Feb 24, 2010
    #746

  7. BostonGeorge

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    This aint a joke but its funny (And true)....There was a guy in my work a few years ago phoned personel to tell them he wasn't gonna make it into work cause he was sick....So the woman from personel asked him how sick are you and he replyed....well ave just slept with ma sister
     
    BostonGeorge, Feb 24, 2010
    #747

  8. kevgal1888

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    So, Cheryl is single. Well I for one will be entering the X-Factor this year.

    By the X-Factor I mean her *.

    By 'this year' I mean 'forcefully while wearing a balaclava'.
     
    kevgal1888, Feb 24, 2010
    #748

  9. orthodox_celt

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    :eek1: :56:
     
    orthodox_celt, Feb 24, 2010
    #749

  10. Craiglang Gold Member Gold Member

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    Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?






    The first ones an animal found in Australia and the second is a geordie stuck in a lift! :icon_mrgreen:
     
    Craiglang, Feb 24, 2010
    #750

  11. shaunbhoy67

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    rangers supportr then
     
    shaunbhoy67, Feb 24, 2010
    #751

  12. Craiglang Gold Member Gold Member

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    What do you call a burd without a *?





    Cheryl.
     
    Craiglang, Feb 24, 2010
    #752

  13. shaunbhoy67

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    what do you call a women wae two fannys


    mrs caldwell
     
    shaunbhoy67, Feb 24, 2010
    #753

  14. WaterfordCeltic

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    this is a sheep joke...

    what's the difference between a Rolling Stone and a Scotsman?
    well the Rolling Stone says, "Hey you, get off my cloud.." whereas the Scotsman says "Hey McLeod, get off my ewe!"...
     
    WaterfordCeltic, Feb 25, 2010
    #754

  15. Craiglang Gold Member Gold Member

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    Whats the difference between these 2 words?

    Kangaroo & Kangaroot







    The first is an animal found in Australia and the second is a Geordie stuck in a lift :56:
     
    Craiglang, Mar 19, 2010
    #755

  16. Scarecrow

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    I was shocked when Came Home And I found my wifes suicide note. It read:

    "Dear Declan,

    Know this. I have always loved you... But I cannot take the pain of this life any longer. And even as I cannot see your brown hair, your blue eyes and your smile ever again, I will be in a better place.

    Love, Sandra"

    I Couldn't Believe It Guys!









    I Have Brown Eyes! Stupid *!
     
    Scarecrow, Apr 9, 2010
    #756

  17. LB

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    My Missus came in last night * out of her head !!
    She found me in the Kitchen , she immediately dropped to her knees & Slurred
    "I wanna get really Dirty ,right here & Now"

    I Looked at her ..Shook my head and said ....

    " Your Drunk you silly cow ..your in no fit state to clean the oven " :icon_mrgreen::icon_mrgreen::56:
     
    LB, Apr 9, 2010
    #757

  18. shaunbhoy67

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    What costs a tenth today of what it costed yesterday?

    Lenny Henry's shopping bill.

    My wife said she wanted to be treated to a facial for her birthday,
    seems our definitions of that word differ..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2010
    shaunbhoy67, Apr 9, 2010
    #758

  19. Benedict XVI

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    Two mexicans have been lost in the desert for 2 weeks now, starving and thirsty its looks bleak. One guy is in such a state he starts to hallucinate. He turns to the other guy and says "Oh senor, we are saved. I see a steak tree !" He runs to it, the other guy stays where he is. Seconds later a gunshot is heard and he shouts "Run amigo. Its a hambush."
    :52:
     
    Benedict XVI, Apr 9, 2010
    #759

  20. albashamrock

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    Tiger Woods has definitely learned his lesson.I heard that on his comeback yesterday, Tiger swerved the ball around a tree. Before he was driving into them.
     
    albashamrock, Apr 9, 2010
    #760
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