Depression

Get your self in to a proper fitness regime, evn if it means becoming a fanatic.
It can help alot of lost people. Stay off boozeing my man, sorry to say.

 

Tough time mate.Like others before, id say find a way of excersising which will help.Even walking.......decent walking i mean, can get your circulation going enough to get some benefit.
Diet also.i guess you have to watch what you eat now with diabetes......but there is no doubt that eating healthy will benefit you mentally as well as physically.
Even though arthritis cant be cured, it can be eased and the body will try and heal if you do the right things diet wise and excercise wise.

You have to start somewhere mate, but having a plan and trying to stick to it is a start.November isnt the most optimistic time of year, but spring is just around the other side of that xmas malarkey!

All the best.

 

Why not rent your house out privately for the moment and move into somewhere cheaper? Use the tenants rent to pay the mortgage for the time being?

Granted, it's not a long-term solution but it may help short-term?

 

Really sorry to read this, as said, its not easy to know what to say to someone in this situation

Regarding the mortgage, Hopefully you have notified the lender and have kept the correspondence, the lender has a responsibility to help you but you need to help as well (that is not a dig its the position taken) I have attached a link to the FCA website for you to read over (yep its a horrendous amount to take in). I would also advise you to make an appointment with Citizens advice and tell them the story.

http://fshandbook.info/FS/html/FCA/MCOB/13/2

Given that you say, you are likely to lose your house by Christmas, you must have missed quite a few payments, as 2 months missing is not going to result in repossession. So if its only a few months then you should try and not worry too much at this point.
The important thing is to get in touch with citizens advice and speak to the bank, ask if you can switch to a "Interest only mortgage" for just now (cheaper).

 

Thanks for the advice guys.
Just spoke to stepchange who are now helping me with a budget to help with the arrears and stop repossession.
Once they have fully filled in a budget plan for me and they approach the lender i may avoid repossession.
Still a stressful time.
Only had 5 or 6 hours sleep in last 3 days since letter arrived notifying of court date.

 

I think I'm suffering from depression.

For years I've locked myself away in my house and I was apparently happy about it but now I have a job for the first time in ten years I realise I have no real life social skills whatsoever.

I go to work and just do my job while all around me are laughing and joking about this or that and I struggle to get involved.

Nearly * 40 years of age and I'm washing dishes for a living and have absolutely nothing to say to anycunt unless it's about music or Celtic.

For years I've convinced myself I was brand new being in the hoose, waffling * on here and looking after my family. Five minutes in the real world and I'm a * mess.

Seriously not in a good frame of mind right now.

Struggling with my conscience on whether to hit post right now.

Does anyone else think it's sad that my only mates are * usernames on here? That I've either built walls around myself and shut out people who were important to me, ostracised myself from the couple of family members I have and either fell out with or been ballooned from any social groups I used to frequent.

What a sad * I really am.

Thank * for my wife and weans because I would probably be dead by now but for them.

 

Try and get involved in some form of group activity.

Look for another job if you are not happy where you are now.

Bit if exercise,5's or something where there are other * to talk to

Depression is a * and will cripple you if you it.

 

Why did you "shut yourself away" for the last 10 years ?

 

Sean,

I'm no expert on depression but at a time it did have me in a very bad place.

I could tell you that my depression is gone but the reality is that it is supressed. It's become almost a cliché but the metaphor of the 'black dog' on your shoulder is actually one I quite like (for want of a better word).

Have you always had feelings of depression, as though you just couldn't see the point of life etc. or is it just now having realised that your social skills aren't quite up to scratch?

 

It's always been there, I just learned the best way to deal with it was to shrink my circle to the bare minimum of people who wouldn't * me over.

For years it worked fine and probably still would be if I didn't have to get a job.

Being back in the wide world has made it rear its haed again.

By the way, beforee some sanctimonious * feels the need to chastise me for living off taxpayers money, I never claimed a * cent from the burro when I was unemployed.

 

Aye, I've been thinking of joining a drama group or some *, that was always my dream growing up to be an actor and I was an extra in a few films.

I didn't "shut myself away". I shut myself away.

 

The way I used to deal with it was to spend as much time as possible in bed watching TV shows I liked. The way saw it was - I like watching TV shows, I don't like facing the world, I'm gonna watch me some * TV shows.

I pinned my depression on a few things like..
-If my mam's boyfriend would just move out I'll be fine
-When I just finish school I'll be free and I'll be back to normal

The reality is, you live in your life and you need to face up to your depression or it will take you over and ruin your life. I've suffered the effects first hand. I've experienced depression taking over my life because I thought if I just ignored it and got on with things I'd be fine.

I recently moved on to Uni. I had this idea in my head that school was ruining my life and that once I had the freedom of Uni life, moving away from home et al, I'd be happy. It's not the case, it's still there and you need to ask it why it's there and what you an do to better your life experience.


I hope you can relate to this in what you've said there. Shrinking your circle to you, was staying in bed for me etc..

I feel as though facing up to the fact that the life I live will effectively feel like eternity to me, not 90 years or whatever, has helped me to try and 'fix' myself as opposed to hiding away from it all.


I'll do my utmost to help you out mate but at the end of the day I'm no expert in psychology and mental illness. What I have done is lived with it for as long as I can remember and educated myself on it with documentaries, articles and online talks as much as possible. I'm happy to help in any way I can

 

Speaking as someone who has also had it, some really good points you're making this last few posts.

 

It's scary as * how similar my life is to both of yours combined, I never seen it as a problem but I think I'm just trying to fool myself...

also don't think it's sad that you consider people on here friends, I think I'd be a lot worse if I didn't get on here a few times a day even to just take the *.

 

Cheers pal.

 

The biggest step I ever took in my life was admitting to myself that I had a problem. When I was back in primary school I used to cry myself to sleep the night before going back to school after having a week, 2 weeks or summer holidays off. I reckon that's my earliest persistent relationship with depression. There came a point in my life I realised that wasn't right.

 

I see some people on here as friends. Celtic isn't the only thing in my life but it is a real part of my identity and this the only place I can talk about it...and then after a while you start to genuinely like some people. The friendship can only go so far online, the limitations of the medium mean really close friends would be difficult to make; but I think it can go beyond mere acquaintances to genuine friendships. Especially when people share stuff like this that we're doing now.

 

Sean get out and about. I will go for a pint with you no probs. Your a good poster

 

I've known something was up for a while now but I always had something to throw the blame at, death in the family, close relative getting locked up or the fact I was obese but It's only recently I've realised all of them problems have * all to do with it.

Even the people you don't interact with help in a way, some funny people on here and the fact that we can have a thread like this to help people is just another reason why I love it. This place has helped me a lot in the last year.

 

Cheers guys, I'' revisit this tomorrow and respond to you all individually.

Just feeling sorry for myself just now. Round about the time to watch some sons of anarchy and forget this * for a few hours.