Decisions Decisions

No she's not! She has a young baby and her emotions/hormones are probably all over the place. She probably feels like someone has struck her a devastating blow! She has two young children in a relationship which most likely feels like it's standing in quicksand. A perfect little world shattered by someone she thinks will usurp her children's place. She will get over it as life is full of little dramas.

 

It's selfish because she's not seeing things from his perspective, surely even with her own worries and concerns about the whole thing, she can't seriously expect someone to stop seeing their child. I do think the whole thing isn't easy on her but the way she's acting cannot just be entirely excused either.

 

As a female I see it from her perspective. Yes she's taking the wrong attitude but she's more than likely not thinking clearly. She has worries and concerns yes but they're more likely being guided by her hormones right now and she has a young baby also reliant on her. She will most likely come around eventually which is why he needs to be a little more discreet right now. I hate to say this but I really don't expect any man to understand the female psyche in this

 

I'm fully qualified. I watched Sunshine on Leith twice.

 

Who told you that? @Aidan O'Shea ? That was our secret boyo!

 

Some of this strikes a chord with me..

I potentially could have a kid in Southampton where I used to see a lassie when I was younger but she was a fruitcake. Complete nut nut who stabbed her own thigh once..

The type who probably got done by a couple of other people and doesn't know who the da is..

 

Your Mrs is jealous in a funny sort of way she is thinking you want to make more of a connection to your other daughter and her mother.

take your first daughter out on family meals with your wife and other kids , let her get to know her siblings , if your wife is still kicking of just take the kids out , one day they might just have each other

 

All coming out now

 

ya wee hoor

 

that's a very tough situation to be in mate. wish you all the strenght to endure it.
it's only natural that she wants to see and gets to know her daddy. it doesn't matter whether it's 15 or 21 years. don't forget, she's had an own process too.. it's not easy, meeting your daddy after sucha long time - or even for the first time as an *.

your current mother of your other kids simply feels threatened. like Jeannie said, your youngest kid is still wee and her hormones are probably still in full attack mode. don't expect her to be or act full reasonably.
you were having a nice lil family till your other daughter showed up. she sees that in danger.

you gotta find a way to show her that your oldest daughter and your current family can coexistence in peace. even better, y'all can learn from each other. an expert to help you might be very helpful in this case.

this is gonna take some time, it's a process for anyone involved. best of luck mate.

 

She is your first child and if your wife really loves you she will accept this,you had your first child before your next chapter in your life and of course it is not yours or your first child's fault.If she is a good kid and not out to bleed you dry then she needs you and you need her and she has siblings.Not easy no,but when is life ever really easy? Good luck pal.

 

That may explain her reasoning but denying a child the right to see their father is very selfish, no matter what sorta hormones are pinging around her body.

 

The resident gay couple, Gayden O'Gay and the BummerBee!

 

See you're never going to get it Being hormonal can make you totally irrational She might be raging, feeling betrayed and insecure right now but she will come around to the idea. In my opinion the OP has probably handled the situation wrongly. Everything is hunky dory between him and the new found daughter......It's not wrong or surprising that he's welcomed her with open arms. But as far as his relationship is concerned it's a sensitive situation that requires diplomacy and tact and most people go right in there with lead boots on. Before you know it emotions are running high and they find themselves in a stalemate situation which seems to have happened here. If he handles this with a bit more discretion and tact this will all iron out in the wash. His partner if she's smart is going to realize she either cares too much to let him go or by pushing him out she's cutting her nose off to spite her face. I suppose that this is one of those life defining moments and the cards will fall as they lay.

 

Now this changes my view a little bit. Your partner knew? and you've been with her 14 years? Sorry I thought your daughter was only 16 so I picked that up wrong. If your daughter only contacted you when she was 21 maybe she was waiting until the time was right? Maybe being loyal to her mum when she was alive? The sad thing in all of this is that your daughter is in the middle..........poor girl didn't ask to be in the situation. Has your mother (her real gran) met her?

 

Maybe none of my/our business but as you knew about your daughter how come you didn't keep in touch with her anyway. Also did it not 'bother' your present partner that you didn't ?

 

I do get your point Jeannie but for me it's still totally selfish to deny someone the right to see their father, probably took the wee lassie a lot to get in touch with him after 21 years of no contact, that's a major thing to get over and reach out towards.

It's her I'd be most concerened about if this woman succesfully gets the OP to patch her, that'd be her 'father' rejecting her twice in her life.

 

I'm kind of seeing this in a new light and like you I feel sorry for the lass. I don't have children and because of this can also see this from a different perspective. If a young women or man was to walk into my husbands life I would most likely hug them to death I'm a real sucker. I would have loved to have been a parent but alas that wasn't to be.