Decisions Decisions

Would the Mrs no agree to going with you next time you want to meet her? As Onefootwonder sad going out and getting * were her is not really going to appease the wife.

 

Your Mrs hasn't met her?
To be honest it sounds pretty weird that your daughter has suddenly turned up and you go out and get wasted with her instead of introducing her to your current family.

 

You're in a difficult situation and there's no quick fix. You could try and assure your Mrs that the older daughter only wants to get to know her Dad and isn't after anything else.

 

If any woman tried to stop me seeing my kid I'd slide tackle her.

Children should absolutely be your priority.

 

That's shocking mate. Your eldest deserves a dad too and your mrs is out of order for saying otherwise.

You need to let her know that she's your blood and you can't just turn her away. The young ones deserve to know their half sister as well.

You need to try a sympathetic approach on your mrs though. As being antagonistic could just drive a wedge further between everyone. Say something like "I'm not going to tell you your out of order or anything as I know you must have your reasons but there's a young lady thats my flesh and blood and she deserves to spend time with her father etc".

 

Did your mrs know you had another child ?

 

Need to be careful but, she absolutely sounds like somebody who'd stop you seeing your other weans if you split

 

You need back up, preferably someone from her side of the family or a friend who she respects. Any sensible person can see she is being unreasonable.
Stay put though. For the young ones.

 

Slide tackled tackled my dad once when he was drunk and it was hilarious.

 

That is really rough mate, hope it gets sorted out and everything goes well for you and yours. I must admit horror stories like this put me off ever having kids and settling down with someone.

 

Wow. Feel for you mate, really do.

Like others say, you maybe should talk to someone she trusts and see if they can get through to her that she's being unreasonable. But in a way where she doesn't think you have been sly about it.

 

Get her signed up on the forum and we'll get it sorted.

Maybe.

 

Your current missus has a point. You need to get a Paternity test first and foremost, * just can't spring this * on you.

All being well then you need to take care of your blood. Your current wife needs to understand this and be more supportive.

However, like an episode of Jerry Springer I can't help feeling we haven't met the whole cast yet...

 

That, and the fact that you're gay.

 

Listen Pal, make sure you are there for all your kids regardless of who the mums are, if that causes * with the woman you are with, then that's her problem, be like a dad to them all.

 

Maybe a starting point would be not getting pished each time you meet this daughter.

 

Get your mother involved. It does sound like your partner feels threatened by your eldest daughter. Perhaps she feels that your loyalty to her and your kids will be compromised. I get that. You need to get your mother or a female family member involved as they will go a long way to helping you provide the reassurance she needs. You could of course stand firm whilst being the model partner? Setting a good example? I'm afraid going out on the * with your eldest doesn't make you sound like model father material.....she's only about 16?

In my opinion, tough as this sounds, it is time for you to man up, be strong, be fair and above all else show your partner how much she means to you. That she's the mother of your children and the most important person in your life next to your children of course. Don't go down the screaming/shouting argument debate route........being a father/parent isn't negotiable. You have the responsibility whether you chose to have it or not. Being a responsible * means facing your responsibilities. Don't show weakness by begging or wheedling your way around it. Simply refuse to argue about it and don't make a big deal about it when you do see your other daughter. How much do you really have to tell your partner about innocent meetings with your older child? Don't rub her nose in it and pretty soon it's all going to die down. If you're not making a deal about it there will eventually be a quiet acceptance that you're not going to stop meeting your other daughter. Just be more discreet and stop going on the * with her. She doesn't need a pal she needs a fatherly influence otherwise she wouldn't have tracked you down. Time to set an example.

It really sounds to me that your partner has been hit for six with this but if she was thinking straight she wouldn't want anything to do with a guy who turned his back on his daughter when she came calling. She's probably feeling vulnerable as she's got young children. Probably thought she was set with you and a young family and now she realizes that someone else has a claim to you. As a female I'm not sure how I would have reacted. I suspect I would share the same unease as I would also be wondering at the other girls motives or at the very least what she was expecting from you. The girl probably wants nothing more than just having her father in her life but your partners reaction is understandable........but not insurmountable.

 

Maybe your wife is concerned about the type of person your daughter is based on the fact that the only time you ever see her seems to involve a lot of alcohol. It doesn't sound like your wife is expressing her concerns in the right way but you can possibly see how your daughter just appearing in your life out of blue and you going out getting * with her might concern her a bit.

I do think the wife asking you not to see her is being completely unreasonable and incredibly selfish on her part.