no offence to irish folk here" a joke"

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important
meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he
said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go
to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'


,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he
meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
The man said, 'I do, Father.'
The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'
Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
'Certainly, Father,' was the man's reply.
'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, 'Do you want to go to
heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'
The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when
you die you don't want to go to heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group
together to go right now.'

.......................................

 

is it true you married your wife on the 29th of february so you only have to buy an anniversary present every four years?

 

do u think im nuts,, i never married her that saves the full monty,,no anniversarys,no going to shops no nothing,,lol

and come christmas ima johoveh wittness

 

The first one was nice.

Here's one:

Three men are sitting in the maternity ward of a hospital waiting for the imminent birth of their respective children. One is an Irishman, one English and the other a West Indian. They are all very nervous and pacing the floor - as you do in these situations. All of a sudden the doctor bursts through the double doors saying "Gentlemen you won't believe this but your wives have all had their babies within 5 minutes of each other." The men are beside themselves with happiness and joy. "And", said the doctor, "They have all had little boys." The fathers are ecstatic and congratulate each other over and over. "However we do have one slight problem," the doctor said. "In all the confusion we may have mixed the babies up getting them to the nursery and would be grateful if you could join us there to try and help &; identify them." With that the Irishman raced past the doctor and bolted to the nursery. Once inside he picked up a dark skinned infant with dreadlocks saying, "There's no doubt about it, this boy is mine!" The doctor looked bewildered and said, "Well sir, of all the babies I would have thought that maybe this child could be of West Indian descent." "Maybe", said the Irishman, "but one of the other two is * English and I'm not taking the chance!!!


Sorry bout the underlining

 

wit is it ,u show me yours il show u mine,,

ok heres one


An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the
priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the
car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'
'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it
again!'
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a
stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'
'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and
knees.
'Really,' said Charlie, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'
She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'

 

Hahaha these are good....I have nothing

 

An Englishman,Scotsman, Welshman and an Irishman were all playing cards in a pub.

The Englishman says, " My son was born on St Georges Day and hence I've called him George"

"Well how about that!" says the Scotsman, " My son was born on St Andrews Day and so I've called him Andrew"

"What a co-incidence," replies the Welshman " because my son was born on St Davids Day and I've called him David"

"Well! This is one * of a co-incidence!" Says the Irishman, I'll call my son over... Hey Pancake!"

 

so, you are one of those who's * i wanna kick every saturday because they are knocking on my door and trying to sell me their believes, i have to find out their adress and try knocking on their doors once)))))))

no offence mate

 

your right,,a bit *,,lol ,nice one m8

 

dont bother cos you"d be wasting your time ,i am a harry krishna now

 

Good One!

 

yeah really? I'm dirty harry...wow, we are both harry's