Depression

Yip, bereavement counselling is a positive step.It wont cure you, but it will help you deal with your feelings.
You dont need to be cured in a day.Take your time, and let it take its course.

Only you will know where you are in terms of dealing with your loss, but there is loads you can do to self help.One thing is for sure is you are most definitely not alone.....most of us have been through the same or similar.

Im sure you know all this in the link, but it wont do any harm to re-acquaint yourself with it all.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617

Got to find a way to curb the bevvy mate.Im sure like most of us you like a drink.........but you know deep down if you abuse it you will have to quit it.

Good luck mate.Im sure you will be fine, and as others have said before, the fact you are at least asking for help is a really positive step.

 

I've not much experience on bereavement so not goni comment on that. But I'd say while it probably isn't helpin it's not necessarily the cause of your depression. These things are often primarily hormonal or chemical in nature. Before accepting any antidepressants, I'd have the doc do some bloods on you and check if there's not an imbalance that could be causing it.

Also, I'd just bite the bullet and cut the drinking out. If you need a crutch, pick one that's going to make you feel better. For example, cannae overstate how much exercise will improve your mood. If you're outa shape it'll be a tough few first sessions, but you'd be amazed how much better you feel afterwards, and it continues with you all day. Also, come off the booze and start eating healthy as much as possible. Cut the carryouts and eat fresh fruit and veg as much as you can. Again, you've no idea how much better your mood will be and how much energy you can have until you change your diet. It amazed me. When I first started taking eating healthily seriously, within a couple weeks I felt like superman. It makes a massive difference. Any kind of hobby or project you can focus on to take your mind off * is great as well. I took up jiu jitsu which was a great move. Good for your fitness, focuses your mind on something positive, occupies your evenings, you can let out your frustration cos it's combat, and it's a social outlet that doesn't revolve around drinking... martial arts are awesome and you can take them up at any age as a hobby.

Your mileage may vary but changing this * helped me with depression far more than any counselling or pills ever could. The problem wasn't what I thought it was, the problem was my lifestyle as a whole. My situation's not changed but I have, and I feel totally different.

 

A routine and loads of fresh air helps me. My brain will always be a bit * though. I have just got used to it now.

 

Walking helps alot,especially if you feel the atmosphere of dawn and dusk,but any good walk really helps.

Spending social time with good friends is also good,and always think ahead of something you are really looking forward to,no matter what it is,that is a positive.

 

* evil thing it is. Unless you've really experienced it you'll never know how much it can affect a person. You can have days where your heart is just black and nothing anyone says can reach you. You can be sitting in a room full of people and you may as well be sitting on top of a mountain alone. You just don't feel connected to anyone or anything.

I don't know if it's easier to overcome it if you have a wife, kids or a close knit family around you but I do know that if you don't have those things and you have to fight this illness, and it is an illness, alone that it is incredibly hard to beat. Sometimes it feels like you'll never beat it.

Cancer's a killer. Heart attacks are a killer. But I really truly believe loneliness is a killer too. It maybe doesn't kill you in a week or a month but if you experience it for long enough it will get you in the end. It just ruins your head, your confidence and your self esteem. Once you lose those things you're lost.

 

Aye, it's * alright. I was finally fine for a few months but I've had another mental crash. Oh well.

 

Does anyone else think that depression has become more prevalent in the modern world?

I've spent time in places like Chile, Arctic Norway and suchlike for work, and have always noticed a difference in the people who live in these places where the "modern" world hasn't really managed to dig its claws in completely.

In a weird way, it seems that the more technologically advanced we become, the more lonely and detached we become.

I wonder if our environment plays a part?

 

First of all get rid of the drink. Alcohol is proving to increase your anxiety and deepen depression upto 3-4 days after consuming it.

 

Environment DOES play a big part in cases of Depression.
My wife who works for a mental Health charity said that there have been surveys done showing that 1 in 4 people in the UK WILL suffer from Depression at some point in their lives and that 1 in 6 EMPLOYED people will also suffer from Depression in the UK at some point in their lives.
It's about finding the proper supprt whether it's family, Friends or Professionals.

 

Our environment certainly plays some part in it, it's all to do with sunlight. I believe depression rates rise the further from the equator you go.

I think you're on to something with technology too. How many families now sit and eat their tea while staring at the TV instead of sitting around a dinner table and conversing with each other? It doesn't sound like much but even small things like that lead to us becoming detached from each other and that's when loneliness can set in.

I get kinda * off when I hear people say folk with depression should 'pull themselves together', anyone who says that has clearly never suffered from serious depression. It's a strange condition, even people who appear to have everything going for them can suffer from it. Neil Lennon for example. Why would Neil Lennon, a guy who was a professional footballer and earning tens of thousands of pounds a week and who has an attractive partner, possibly get depressed? Well.....because you just do.

Anyone who suffers with this really does have my sympathy. When it's got a grip of you it lowers the quality of your life significantly and it's not an easy thing to talk about. People ask how you are and you can't tell them that you're dying inside because nobody wants to hear that. You're supposed to say 'I'm good' and smile and act as though everything is normal, when in fact things are very far from good or normal.

If anyone on here suffers from it then don't feel that you are alone, there are plenty other people out there going through exactly what you are. It may not seem like it but trust me there are.

 

I had a bit of a breakdown at the weekend and admitted to a close friend I've been feeling depressed for months. My mind is just in a really dark place at the moment it is hard to describe the feeling but I am most definitely not happy.

To be honest even just telling someone made me feel 10 times better and they then admitted that they and several other friends had been concerned about me for a while. I don't plan on visiting a doc or anything just to try change a few things about my lifestyle i.e. drinking less, getting more active and sleeping at a reasonable hour

 

Definitly get a routine sorted sleep ways mate, helps alot. im finding the giving up drink part isnt a cure at all, but each to their own, i find just not gettin wrote off helps. Enjoying a drink can actually make you feel better rather than gettin hammered. More active helps too for one youre not sittin in the house! Anyway best of luck mate and anyone else thats struggling with this!

 

My advice - from some personal experience - is first give up the drink. It makes it a lot worse as its a depressant and hangovers are terrible when you are depressed. Second, even though its the last thing you want to, do some exercise that gets your heart going. Try to get a routine and avoid turning into a night owl. Other than that you need to talk to someone who is a good listener. You might be surprised how kind people can be once they know somethings up with you. Other than that go to the Doctor. I actually had a sort of anxiety/depression thing a few years back where I was a total mess and the medication I was given almost immediately removed the problem.

 

Depression is nothing to be ashamed about more people suffer and or have suffered from it in the past. The main thing is never to keep things locked up inside of you until you turn a marble into a wrecking ball! There are lots of people to talk to and to get advice from. A bit of a routine and exercise go a long way! I found that cycling helped me something fierce!

Hope everyone gets the help the need and deserve. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

 

The way I had it was that I would always think of the worst possible scenario until it left me a wreck. Its called catastrophising in psychology. I got so bad that if I heard an ambulance or fire engine when driving around I would think I had run someone over without noticing or the house was burning down. I think it started off as being someone who tried to anticipate bad * by taking steps in advance to prevent it happening. However, it just got out of hand and during the recession when a lot of problems were something I could do nothing about I had a melt down. If I hadnt gone to the doc I would be in a straight jacket or 6ft under by now.

 

Feeling really depressed and stressed out. Suffering headaches and insomnia.
Diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last september and 2 weeks ago diagnosed with arthritis of the neck.
Looks like i will be losing my home just before christmas.
With a company on 0 hrs contract and not getting work.
The wife works so i am disqualified for benefits.
Bank refusing to listen to offers to repay.
My wife has arthritis, asthma and possibly huntingtons chorea.
This situation will kill her.
Really struggling to cope.

 

Meditation has a lot of potential to help you with a lot of your problems. Look into it.

 

FS mate, talk about it never rain's but it pour's.

i never know how to reply to these kind of post's, i just hope that somewhere

down the line there is that every cloud /silver lining scenario and you and

your wife can get through this bleak period.