Jesus is a Celtic Man

Hail Hail,
I posted this poem early last year on various other Celtic Forums and i received a bollicking for it. I wrote it after we humped the Huns thanks to a John Hartson goal and it was written with a wee Tongue-In-Cheek humour. It's a wee bit long, but have a wee read and let me know what you think.

Thanks

Toronto Tim



Jesus Is a Celtic Man
Jesus came down from heaven, onto the Gallowgate,
2 hours before an Old Firm game, now that's what I call fate,
He jumped into the Barras, to buy a big duffle coat,
With a terrible thirst, knawing at his throat.

He heard angels sing, within Bairds Bar,
So he jumped in for a Guinness, smoke a Woodbine *,
Legends of Celtic, adorned the walls,
And a picture of himself, that stood 4ft tall.

In this little legendary Glasgow pub,
A proud supporter of Celtic Football Club,
Jesus raised his pint, to anxious looks,
And said, from his heart, "C'Mon the Hoops".

Parkhead is considered, the Celtic fans shrine,
As Jesus walked forward, his hand on his wine,
He would stop to talk to dogs, that roamed the street,
And ask them if they had any tips for Ashfield, next week.

He joined the crowds, surging to the ground,
Singing ballads of Ireland’s sons,
Into the stadium, he took to his seat,
Buying a programme, "Big Jock Stein wants to see the team sheet".

Both teams ran onto the field, greeted by the fans,
Jesus saw the ghost of Pearce, Connolly and Sands,
Standing dressed in Celtic’s green & white,
Heroes of a nation, that never gave up the fight.

Parkhead, Paradise, was a beehive of noise,
Songs for the Rangers, songs for Martin O'Neill's bhoys,
But the sons of Celtic, their songs were an explosion,
When the ball hit the back of the net, by big John Hartson.

Stein and Thompson, Doyle and Quinn,
Celebrated together, as they stood watching from heaven,
The players surrounded, our heroic Welshman,
Who had the strength to tackle a fire-breathing dragon.

The angels in heaven, danced around Willie Maley
As he sat with Brother Walfrid, having a Baileys,
They both raised a cheer to Celtic’s good name,
And praised to *, for O’Neill being an Irishman.

When the game was finished, and the 3 points were in the bag,
Jesus took a stroll down to the Gorbals, for a drink at the Brazen Head,
Where the celebrations and dancing were in full swing,
And after a few more pints, he was determined to sing.

The crowd in the bar, faithful Celtic supporters,
Listen to Jesus belt out, Faith of Our Fathers,
He was carried of the stage, high on victory,
Promising one day to return with Patsy Gallagher & McGrory.

Before he left the Brazen Head, the fans & Jesus, performed the Huddle,
That brought traffic to a stand still, in the Gorbals,
He would be back one day and stand within Parkhead’s gates
As he ascended to heaven, with a Celtic scarf, around his neck.




© Daniel McDonagh - Nov'5th 2003

 

Oh dear...can see why people got upset...all the blasphemy in there...

Doesnt bother me but no doubt someone will have a whinge....

 

it was written in fun, some folk can see the sense of humour in it, some can't, but i wasn't out to offend any one.

 

For a start TT your peoms are gd but this one, whats Pearce, Connolly and Sands got to do with celtic same with the others there this is the kind of stuff people feel strong about and it should not be spoke about in any relation to celtic football club even if u say they are standing there with colours on. Jesus going for a bevvy aswell * sake he might pop on here for a chat with the alkies

 

Duffy, i had a few bevvies that day and came home and wrote it. Like i say, it's not meant to be taken "TOO" serious, it was done with a wee bit of humour.

 

fucksake TT thought you were gonna write a poem there again, aye i know no offence taken just a bit irrelevant in places

 

no bother m8, just hope no one gets the hump.

here's a wee daft one i wrote.

My Celtic Top

Someone stole my Celtic top
Of my mother’s washing line,
I searched the streets of Glasgow
I even dialed ‘999’.

The operator asked, which assistance I required,
Was someone in distress?
I told her of my Celtic top
That Neil Lennon had signed and blessed.

She abruptly hung up the phone
And I was left to second guess,
Maybe my Celtic top could be found
By an Inspector called John Rebus.

My Celtic top did not re-appear
It was gone forever more,
But my father came home with a gift in his hand,
Saying they are at half-price at the Celtic Store.

Boom-Boom

 

ain't read the poem i'm too tired.... i'm all for a good laugh i think if someone states in the first place that statements or commentsare been made is in jest then they should be taking that way.

* * everyone seems to be in the horrors tonight.

MEEEOOW

 

im just in a bad mood cos due to a miscalculation in the amount of bud i drank last nightin only had 2 left for tonight and not 6 as i thought...that is therefore everybodys fault!!!!

 

you'll be glad in the morning when you wake up.

jaysus i feel all converted.

 

i'm in a * of a mood because of the Paramyxoviridae thats jumpin about

 

Must b the poetry mate....doing you some good all this holy stuff...

 

just remember you choose the way you feel and if you choose to be down in the dumps your the only that it's gonna effect so why not pick yourself up with a little song or maybe a wee prayer.

 

Tone deaf and an atheist mate!!!

 

read a wee bit it looks funny

but the older sciaf papes of the site will be offended lol

 

this will un-hopefully be my last post b4 im banned

why are ppl on here so easily offended and cliqueish?

 

Cos They Sniff Dogs Bums , Lol

 

good one, toronto!

 

why would you be banned?

 

Mate nobody wants to ban anybody in here, up to now there's been 4 huns banned and a manure fan. Discussions are bound to get heated sometimes but there's really no need for personal abuse and i'm not just refeering to yourself.

Everyone just chill out FFS.