Funny Movie Quotes?

Mine Is Off Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

I Have A Few Funny Quotes

[Talking About A Comic Book That Sold For Millions]
If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.
What buzz?
The Internet buzz.
What the * is the Internet?

[Argument Breaks Out Between 2 Girls]
I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some * * floppin around, yeah!

[After Stealing A Monkey The Police Are After Jay And Silent Bob And Jay Goes Crazy At The Monkey]
Holy *, is that monkey waving at us? Oh, *, It understood us! Maybe it's some kind of supermonkey. What if there's more supermonkeys up at that lab? What if they're creating an army of them? Holy *. It must be a conspiracy like in the X-Files... *Roswell* style! This little monkey could be the *' * dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey *'ll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - *you maniacs*! * yous! * yous all to *!

[After Finding Out People Are Laughing At Jay And Silent Bobs Comic Book, Jay Decides To Post Back On The Internet]
All you * are gonna pay. You all are the ones who are ball-lickers. We're gonna * your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny *. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax * who is makin' the movie, we're gonna make them eat our *, then * out our *, and then eat their * that's made up of our * that we made em' eat. And then all you * are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

Anyone Got Any?

 

Not an obvious choice but I thought it was a funny one from Dirty Harry.

The Killer pays a mercenary to give him the hiding of a lifetime so he can blame it on Harry and get him suspended from the force and, ultimately, off the killer's back.

Chief: Have you been following that man?
Harry Callahan: Yeah, I've been following him on my own time. And anybody can tell I didn't do that to him.
Chief: How?
Harry Callahan: Cause he looks too * good, that's how!

 

"haha your a funny guy"
"what do you mean im funny?...u think im a * clown here to entertain you?" - joe pesci - casino

 

Eh, Goodfellas......

 

my bad..i always get them mixed up

 

From south park the movie

Cartman: Don't call me fat, you * Jew!
Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "*". You can't say "*" in school, you * fat *!
Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the * not?
Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "*" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: *!
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. *-fuckety-*-*-*.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[picks up a megaphone]
Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
Stan: Holy *, dude.

 

Cant remember what its from

Guy 1: Have a nice day sir
Guy 2: Dont tell me what to do

 

your avatar says "love will tear us apart" am i right?@Gil-Scott Heron. Iv always been good with soundwaves.

 

'What do you like to do?'



































'Play chess.......screw'


'Let's play chess'

 

Waynes world
Woman (flirting with him, in a seductive voice) "Take me right now"
Wayne "Wh-where...I've got no gas and you've not got a jacket on"

 

REG:
They've bled us white, the *. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers.

LORETTA: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.

REG: Yeah.

LORETTA: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.

REG: Yeah. All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!

XERXES: The aqueduct?

REG: What?

XERXES: The aqueduct.

REG: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah.

COMMANDO #3: And the sanitation.

LORETTA: Oh, yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like?

REG: Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done.

MATTHIAS: And the roads.

REG: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads--

COMMANDO: Irrigation.

XERXES: Medicine.

COMMANDOS: Huh? Heh? Huh...

COMMANDO #2: Education.

COMMANDOS: Ohh...

REG: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

COMMANDO #1: And the wine.

COMMANDOS: Oh, yes. Yeah...

FRANCIS: Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Huh.

COMMANDO: Public baths.

LORETTA: And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg.

FRANCIS: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this.

COMMANDOS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

REG: All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

XERXES: Brought peace.

REG: Oh. Peace? Shut up!

 

I think you may have a combination of Goofellas and Casino there.

First quote Goodfellas.

Second quote casino in vegas at a Black jack table only instead of here to entertain you. I think he said "Am I the * entertainment" then put his gun in the guys face,

Anyhow a classic movie moment hysterical

 

Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
Forrest Gump: I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.

 

so i was half right at least...not so bad

 

Will Ferrel in semi-pro -

"Panic like it's the Titanic.......except its full of bears!!!!"

 

Lol On Jay And SIlent Bob There Is A Scene Where They Are In A Shop And There Is A Notice Near The Till It Says

"If You Plan To Shoplift Let Us Know. Thanks"

Absoultely Amazing Haha

 

Blazing Saddles.


"Hey where are the white women at?"

 

monty python - the life of brian
"who is brian"
"i am brian...and so is my wife"
lol