Cumbernauld annoys me

I was brought up about 4 miles east of Cumbernauld and the difference in the accent is like night and day. You go 4 miles west and all of a sudden its a kinda fake Glaswegian. Yous live miles from Glasgow.....stop talking like that!!!

Also in Cumbernauld they say "going intae the toon" and when they say it they mean Glasgow. Naw.....going intae the toon for yous would be going intae the centre of Cumbernauld. Again....Glasgow is miles away. Stop saying that. If I say "going intae the toon" it'd be going into Falkirk.

Im on a rant but Cumbernauld gets right on ma *

 

At least we don't say 'yin' and 'twae' and * 'roated cheese'.

Teuchter *.

 

At least we dont put an 'r' in the word 'toilet'. Folk in Cumbernauld say "thats me away tae the torlet" * stupid.

YOU ARE NOT FROM GLASGOW......stop pretending you are

 

I will say however that yous do have a Burger King. Which is one of the 2 reasons I would go there. Burger King and to score a cheap bag of sand.

Although Palacerigg is pretty good....or at least it used to be when it had wolves and bison and stuff

 

I don't do either of these things. If av telt yae yince I've telt yae twae times like eh?

 

Why is everything in your toon heavy?? Yous mustnae ever need to go to the gym

Pure mad heavy trying tae be like a mad weegie n that by ra way

 

You're talking heavy * eh? Ah dinnie ken whit the proablem is like but ah dinnie hink it's very nice like eh?

 

Right you square go.....I'll start walking the noo.....you start walking aswell and I'll meet you at Castlecary. Bring a team. Nae blades but....cause I know what yous are like

 

Cool m8 get yae at the 'erches eh? Maximum twae boadies each eh?

 

Never heard anybody say torlet before

The locals prefer 'toonie' for the dump that is the town centre.

 

Probably the best toon is Scotland for grub. Quantity of takeaways anyway.

 

They are magic arches apparantly. As soon as you go under them folk think they're from Glasgow. Wearing their hats at a 45 degree angle and *. Its like watching they auld videos of the wee man on youtube. "Here you...that will be right"

Aye but any time yees are ready. Yous wear yer ned gear....we'll wear we're hookter teuchter kilts and we'll leave the claymores in the hoose. We'll sort this out the now. And then we'll go for a pint

 

Twae in a Dundonian accent is easily the worst word on the planet..

 

4 miles east? Bonnybridge? Denny?

You're no fae Falkirk or Stirling stoap talking like that. Ken, sir.

 

What did you have for your breakfast "roastit cheese"

 

Bonnybridge number 1 mate. Come Ahead!!

Cumbernauld's motto should be "any spare change pal??" They should have a statue in the town centre of a burbery clad guy with one crutch and a staffy dug and two teeth with that written under it

 

And whats the famous wan fae Dundee??? Twa paes an an inning ane anaw

 

CYF ya bassss

Ken. It's defo up there like eh?

* weirdos man

 

'Ah dinny ken wit yer tahkin abooot'