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SOS: Need Rangers Jokes. ASAP

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by Eddie Murphy, Dec 1, 2014.

Discuss SOS: Need Rangers Jokes. ASAP in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

  1. jhimbhoab

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    Ally McCoist phoned me the other day and offered to be here tonight if the groom has any problems getting wood for his new bride........but i told Ally to stay in Glasgow as he has a big enough task in * the Rangers.
     
  2. blackfish Screaming from beneath the waves...

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    Rangers supporters and board are fed up being told they are thick so at their next home match it was decided that Ally McCoist would take Lee McCulloch to the centre circle before the game and ask him some difficult arithmetic questions to prove that all Sevconians are not thick

    The big day comes and out go Ally and Lee

    "Right Lee, I'm going to ask you some questions and we can put all these malicious rumours that we are all thick to rest, are you ready?" Says Ally

    "Aye boss" says Lee

    "Ok Lee, what is 200 plus 200?" Asks Ally

    Lee has a stunned look on his face and there is a prolonged silence till he says "err emm urr umm 300 boss?"

    Ally looks at his answer card and says "no Lee, it says 400 here, but that was a tough one"

    The crowd are stunned but then shout as one "GIE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

    Ally looks around and says "ok Lee that was really hard, here's another question, what is 50 plus 50?"

    Same vacant look on Lee's face and long pause till he says "eh, 90 boss?"

    Ally checks his answer card again "no Lee it says 100 here, but again it was a real tough question that wan"

    The crowd are getting tetchy and all too aware their reputation is on the line "GIE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!!" They bellow

    Ally look around and says "right Lee last chance, what is 2 plus 2?"

    Lee pauses confused again but eventually says "eh eh 4 boss?"

    Stunned silence at Ibrox

    And the crowd go "GIE HIM AOTHER CHANCE! GIE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!!"
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2014
  3. stoutroller

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    :56:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2014
  4. Glasgow_Bhoy88

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    Ask him how many times his wife has been liquidated and whether or not she kept the history.
     
  5. dowdalshillcelt

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    Large breasted woman goes up to ally mc coist and asks him does he mind signing her *.

    Ally responds no problem I have been signing * for years.
     
  6. Tuco Gold Member

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    What is the difference between pity and shame?

    A bus full of the Huns crashes and they all die, that's a pity.
    There were three empty seats, now that's a * shame.

    You can thank me later .....lol
     
  7. stoutroller

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