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Best one liner?

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by TicFan88, Sep 12, 2011.

Discuss Best one liner? in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

  1. Taylor

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    plain and simply...

    "lick ma hoop"
     
  2. The Prof Administrator Administrator

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    I wouldn't say she was big girl but her high school photo was taken from a helicopter
     
  3. The The Hand

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    Us in the pub, one of my mates just come back from working in the States, me on the wind-up:

    "Yeah, I was quite surprised at the size of the jewish community in Florida."
    "Aye, but you have to remember a lot ae them are proddies."
    "Ehh?? What do you mean they're proddies?"
    "I mean, they're culturally jewish, but by religion you'll find they're actually protestant."
    "What? I've never heard about that."
    "Seriously? You've never heard of Florida orange jews?"

    :52: :icon_mrgreen:
     
  4. BigWilly.

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    * is not the answer. * is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
     
  5. BigWilly.

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    I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure
     
  6. Jayzhinho67

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    usually when i walk in the pub " HERZZZZ MIIII !!"
     
  7. monthehoops1888

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    I would * kill for a Nobel peace prize
     
  8. Aldobaldo

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    "We stick together as a family like * does to a blanket"
     
  9. BelfastCelt88

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    :56::56::56:
     
  10. The Don

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    Not realy a one liner but....

    there was this stupid lad I used to play Rugby with anyway one day a few of the lads came to pick me up to go training and one of the lads says to me Alex gues what james thought james being the stupid lad, he thought that girls pooh my mate said.

    In a split second James turns round and snaps and shouts f***off I know girls dont pooh now.

    haha maybe had to be there but I realy was in stitches.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 13, 2011
  11. conor 1888

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    let the people sing
    :56::56::56:
     
  12. chrisdno1

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    Same guy as in my previous post said this belter, we were in the work van passing a hairdresser's and their was a burd outside having a * when he pipes up with , See her I gave her the best dryride of her life.
     
  13. Xavier Woods

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    was at a European game a few years ago and their keeper was time wasting, guy behind me stands up and shouts "hurry the * up ya specky hot dog"

    was howling :56:
     
  14. Paddy

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    the word for today is legs, lets go back to yours and spread the word
     
  15. The Prof Administrator Administrator

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    Can i borrow your face for a few days while me * is on holiday.
     
  16. Rossenspeil

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    'Alright love .. fancy a *?'

    'NO!'

    'Well can you lie back so I can have one?'
     
  17. Rossenspeil

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    I was in a packed bar in Leeds on a stag do, this pretty girl walks in with jeans and a black and blue checked shirt on, my mate pipes up:

    'Oh hello dear, are you here about the tree? It's round the back.'

    :56:
     
  18. Vinnie BBQ Justice is lost Justice is raped Justice is gone.

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    One of my co-workers when I showed up at work with some new sunglasses.

    He starts grinning and I asked him "whats the matter?"

    "Nothing, but you look like a * fly."

    Was funnier in Dutch dialect I guess. :56:
     
  19. Binnie_Bhoy

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    :56::56::56:

    Actually laughed out loud at that one, so random! I wonder if it was the same guy who sat behind me one home game a yelled at Samaras when he lost the ball "awww fir * sake Sammi ye big kebab!"
     
  20. GazF1888

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    Fancy going halves on a *? :icon_mrgreen: