Jokes Thread

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by Dubsbhoy, Jun 22, 2004.

Discuss Jokes Thread in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

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  1. albashamrock

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    Merchandisers have announce they were selling England/USA scarfs, hats and Tshirts. However they were not selling a Beckham mug as it was * priceless.
     
  2. albashamrock

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    Previews are currently showing in cinemas of Robert Green singing 'I'm so lonely'. Team America 2 will hit the big screen in 2 weeks.
     
  3. Dazza

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    My computer has just been infected with the "Rob Green Virus"...

    I can't save anything....
     
  4. CASTLE Gold Member Gold Member

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    i robbed dis one and sent it all me mates soon as i read it :56::56:
     
  5. albashamrock

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    I've just called up to complain about the Vuvuzela's in the first few games of the World Cup. They are spoiling my enjoyment of the tournament. I can still hear Clive Tyldesley over them.
     
  6. Ruxin

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    Elderly Couple Mr and Mrs Gillfeathers are at the Doctors Surgery.

    "Nice to see you both" The Doctor says "As its been over 3 years since your last checkup Mr Gillfeathers I am going to run a few health checks and I need a Urine, Stool and Seaman sample from you."

    Mr Gillfeathers who is hard of hearing turns and asks his dear wife what the Doctor has said.

    Leaning in Mrs Gillfeathers shouts in the old mans ear "The Doctor wants a pair of your DRAWERS!!!!!"







    Note to our non Scottish contingent Drawers = pants
    .
     
  7. garryakastubbsy

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    My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
    As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and said.... 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'
    On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines when I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.' She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.' To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
    Tray-up, *'
     
  8. Twisty I'm a good clown Gold Member

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    :56::56:
     
  9. Xavier Woods

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    What's the difference between Robert Green and Justin Bieber? Robert Green knows how to drop his balls. :56:
     
  10. garryakastubbsy

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    Yesterday I came home to find my wife lying naked on bed pleasuring herself.
    I watched for a while and noticed there was a whip on a cabinet.
    I picked it up and she smiled at me, "Have I been a bad girl?
    "I leant over her and said yes why haven't you made my * dinner?"
     
  11. dynamo23

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  12. Scarecrow

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    andrew ellis will buy rangers in the next 48 hours! EXCLUSIVE...the sun.
     
  13. kieranc

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    haha
     
  14. Benedict XVI

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    :56:
     
  15. emmetf

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    ciaran you tool dont copy and paste
    :56:
     
  16. Dannybhoycfc88

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    You give Africans 2 pound a month and they spend it on * trumpets!!!!!
     
  17. kieranc

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    great PS:56:
     
  18. Scarecrow

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    England will be playing Algeria on Friday evening.

    If you don't want to know the score... watch it on ITV HD.
     
  19. AnthonyBhoy

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    Removed by staff
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 17, 2010
  20. Ledleysleftfoot

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    About 70% of them are wrong on so many levels haha
     
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