Ever shat your Y's on a night out?

Pub talk so am going to come away with a belter, few month ago out with the brother for a few jars and a game a pool, bent down to take a shot let rip, before a knew it felt like hot water dripping down the inside of my legs........................... awwwwwwwwww naw a thought.


right into that bog and wiped my *, boxers all full of watery * stains a just folded them right into a neat we pile and left them behind the bog, * it a thought cleaners will mop them up the mora

back out and wiped the brothers * at pool, stayed in the pub got hammered next minute missus on the blower, a said to her av just shat aw over my self in here, she says ur joking. am i * a said my under crackers are lying in at bog covered in *, she was pishing her self laughing

aw well * it,some might say * story but very true

anybody else sharted???

 

Did your brother * himself too?? :smiley-laughing002:

 

ironic that you said that because when a got back from the bog a told him a did and he says he thought he did 30 mins previously but naw he didnt as a say true story mate a dont bull *

 

Not sharted but this is my experience.

Was going out with a girl a few months back and I ended up at a party she wasn't at and then onto a club. I'd been drinking for a solid 12 hours by the time she found me (falling into a closed car). So she takes me home and makes me food and gives me some more beer. After a while I throw up in her bathroom and we head to bed.

So we wake up and she says to me "you were blootered last night but I'm so glad you didn't throw up". I stay silent. She gets up and disappears for a few minutes before returning and saying (very straight faced) "Right I cleaned up the bathroom, you do the kitchen". I was worried now that I'd thrown up there too and forgotten.

Into the kitchen I go and I see water all over the floor. I said to her that it wasn't a big deal and she said "No, look behind the kitchen door". And there in plain sight was a massive, perfectly formed *.

The best bit about it is the way my socks and shoes were very carefully placed right beside it.

 

and too the op what the * did I just read??

 

If anyone tops this I shall defo die laughing * brilliant sir.

 

I was eating my breakfast. Unfortunately I can not claim to have * myself, I am very proud to say.

 

Extraordinary

 

hilarious!

 

It's a real ice-breaker too.

 

This part had my coffee coming down my nose

 

the etiquette on this forum is amazing at times.

 

I don't know what the * is wrong with some of the people on this forum.

 

Never shat myself but got barred from the toilet in a fine establishment in hamilton for doing a * and stinking the whole place out.

'You stink my toilet you no come back you stinky *' was the words used by the lovely african american toilet attendant.

 

In my defence, I have no recollection of the incident. And hey, been *-on-kitchen-floor-free for 5 months now

 

cracking up at those 2 gifs mate........funny as anything!:smiley-laughing002:

 

Never followed through, but was on the way home from a mate's one night in Edinburgh, quite * and stoned, about 2 in the morning. Had thought before I left my pal's 'I could do with the toilet' but as a number 2 would be required I thought I'd hold it until I got home and could relax on my own toilet with a copy of the auto trader and a mug of tea :icon_mrgreen:
I get about half way and realise I'm not going to make it - that feeling is coming over me in waves, my stomach is lurching and I am waddling along the road trying to get home asap without * myself. Start panicking and looking for someone's garden or something before I realised it was coming whether I wanted it to or not. Hoisted down the jeans and curled out the longest continuous * I have ever produced, right on the pavement in the middle of the street. Fortunately no-one was around to witness it. I used my hanky to clean up as best I could then waddled on home.

 

Possibly one of my favourite threads ever I have no stories that can top the ones posted so i'm out.