Coping with Depression, Stress, Anxiety and other Mental Health Illnesses

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by Drakhan, Apr 8, 2016.

Discuss Coping with Depression, Stress, Anxiety and other Mental Health Illnesses in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

  1. Doogs. Kieran Tierney. Gold Member

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    Got to say I actually agree with some this. I used to think that a pill would solve my problems as well tbh. Wasn’t until I actually tried to change my mindset and parts of my lifestyle that I actually felt better.

    Hence why I never post in here anymore:84:
     
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  2. ChrisMoh

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    good stuff mate,just keep doing what your doing.:50:things can & do get better.
     
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  3. Bigdezza85

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    It really helps reading everyones stories. Ive suffered with severe depression and anxiety for many years and tried to do foolish things over the years. But im here and stronger then ever. Maybe sounds like the most obvious thing to say but anyone that sees this please go and see a doctor if your struggling. It doesnt make you weak. It proves your as strong as *
     
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  4. autumn time Gold Member Gold Member

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    Things could be much worse. You could be a hun. :84:
     
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  5. Bigdezza85

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    Couldn’t of put it better myself haha :60:
     
  6. celtic warrior

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    By all accounts my life right now is fairly steady, but the thing with depression is the smallest insignificant thing could trip you over and then you find yourself down that black hole of dead emotions.

    Last few weeks I've been feeling it boiling over then yesterday a few little things happen that made me realise its probably closer then I thought.

    So for months now my partner and I have decided that London is no longer viable, this was highlighted when we done some digging and found we could both cut our wages in half (assuming we find jobs obviously) and liflve a far better life in North Wales and actually save money as well which is impossible for us to do in London, problem I have is that means giving up weekends with my two kids and I'm the type of guy, perhaps because of depression, a choice like that makes you think and sit on all the bad that could happen when your so far away from your kids.

    On that note, the move has been planned for a while now but with the risks of a no deal brexit along with my parents unable to come down when they thought they could has led to us thinking how we supposed to keep going come January as we can not afford full time childcare for our newborn nor can we afford one of to go part time due to rent costs.

    Then at my work it's been a litany of little things, little lies during recruitment, management style that focuses on mistakes and discredits any good that is done leading to them trying to do me out of a 20% bonus, the foundation of my work is due to save the business in excess of £250k but yet it means nothing because that foundation was built upon by someone else in order to help with a court case, so depression makes me ask two things, 1. What the * is the point and 2. Why is my manager still alive.

    After that, this being trivial now, I find the best man at my wedding is getting married this weekend and my mum was the only one invited as I've heard nothing about it at all until yesterday when I spoke with my mum. This is/was a friend I've known since we were 6 years old, supposed to be family even if we haven't spoke in a little while yet I hear nothing, I'm left with a point proven that (maybe) because of my history of depression I'm now completely isolated and have no social circle worth of note with my only friend being my current partner.

    I apologise to anyone that offend with what I say next, depression is a cancer its start in one little place in your head changing, manipulating and warping your view of everything around and then spreads to every limb in your body to make you a lifeless unmotivated sack of blood and left untreated that disease will take over completely without realising and make think and perhaps even do things you shouldn't that could be final.

    I've rambled nonsense long enough, talking, typing helps but if that is not helping, then fight, fight against the cancer that infected your mind, your soul. Fight against the stranger you see in mirror who is trying to take control and lock you away in a prison that looks identical to you and seek all the help you can find, the cancerous little leech that is depression can not be allowed to win.
     
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  7. Doogs. Kieran Tierney. Gold Member

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    Things will always get better if you are willing to work at it mate :50:

    Not gonna lie I’ve felt it creeping back in myself the last day or 2. Been off work a week and a half and doing nothing productive just sucks the life out of me. I can always tell when I’m starting to fall back in to it because I suddenly want to get drunk as * to get away from reality.

    Not gonna let it affect me today as I have an interview with a view to starting Monday so positive vibes all the way today, and wishing you the same mate, all the best :50:
     
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  8. celtic warrior

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    I agree, it think deep down depression is a constant and if there is ever time in someone's life that means they are inactive or in rut of just going through the motions, it will see it's chance to come up and take over. It's very opportunistic. It's why I want to leave London. I'm under no illusion its the solution but I know for a fact staying is the worst thing I can do.

    I will make next year work one way or another.
     
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  9. autumn time Gold Member Gold Member

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    Good luck to both of you with the new jobs & hopefully lifestyle changes.
     
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  10. leeso-ardoyne

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    Was it depression though or just low * mood. Me, yesterday woke at 5am, some paper work then a big breakfast of * sausages, bacon, eggs and 4 rounds of toast slapped with butter from the filling station Out to work, knocking my * out in the * rain and heavy winds under scaffolding building stone in the west of Ireland weather(next stop is america). Needed petrol for the mixer so * off to the filling station and while getting petrol, grabbed a burger meal and washed down with a cappuccino and a cream bun. Back to work to knock my * in again. Got a good soaking when finishing up putting mixer away etc.. Drive home was a *. Ended up with a dirty chinese after work because the misses was working late and i couldnt be * cooking. Handed the misses 5k for xmass when home. Just a * day with the worst diet possible for me. I very rarely eat * like this but the way the day pamed out, i ended up consuming such *. Cant remember the last time i ate them * sausages or a fry up. Must be well over a year or two. Sitting at the table last night with the laptop going over some house plans i felt like i wanted the ground to swallow me up. No * could look at me or id snap. Even came on here and let loose which now thinking i shouldnt have :(

    This morning, woke up around 7am. Out for a small run then back for a cold shower after some wim hof breathing method. Small glass of veggie juice and small garlic, olive,chilli omelette. 2000mg of vitc, dr udos probiotics, magnesium tab washed down with some lepicol. The change in my mood is like night and day. My mind is clear and not much * has passed through my system yet.

    Do i class yesterday as depression. No, i just class it as a * day by my dietary choices and work habits. My diet was terrible and i should have stayed at home instead of going out working in that weather, but im a hungry * because the big fat man with the white beard coming soon. People seem to get confused with depression and low mood and feeling * by their own choices. Theres a big push from the big pharma companies to brian wash these people into thinking they are actually depressed.

    Change your lifestyle, food choices and your mind will reward you. We have people eating huge amounts of * food, washing it down with gallons of soft drinks then expect to go to a doctor and get a magic pill thatll reverse all the damage theyve done. Not a chance! If people choose to live their lives with a * diet and bad choices then IMO, they should feel *, depressed and shaking with anxiety. Ive said it before onhere i think about if the pills really worked, everyone would be walking about as happy as a pig in *! Ive yet to see anyone who gets treated by this poison actually walking about with their lives fully changed for the better.

    Amyway, hope you get on top of it because i do understand what its like. Have been in some dark places myself in life. Its just part of life now in the society we live in. Its just knowing whats the correct way of managing it.
     
  11. aeroshady

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    Okay, so I think this thread is the right one to post in.

    I am about to be going through a divorce after about 1 1/2 years of marriage and 10 years together as a couple. I was recently told by a therapist that I have the symptoms of PTSD and that he would like to diagnose me with this once he has monitored me long enough to do so. This may be a long post.

    Here is my story:

    My now wife and I met about 10 1/2 years ago. Fell in love and moved in together after about 1 year of dating. We have traveled all over the world together and planned our futures around each other. We even went back to school together in order to change degrees/careers. About 4 1/2 years into our relationship, she expressed some concern over our * life and it lacking a "spark." I agreed and figured the honeymoon stage was long gone and that things had just gotten a bit too routine in our lives. We agreed to work on them. About two months later she went on a trip and when she came back, the effort had stopped. A few months after that I discovered that she had begun an affair with one of our friends behind my back and had been lying to me about it for months. We broke up, but immediately tried to repair the relationship (believe me, I know this was a mistake and I don't need to hear it, I made much larger ones later don't worry). For the next 2-3 months, I let her drag me through mud as she made constant promises about ending things to work on us, only for me to find out she was still seeing the other guy. Finally, I personally witnessed them in the act and completely cut her off. I also hooked up with one of her friends that sided with me in the break-up (had to throw this in here).

    A few months later I made the mistake of answering a phone call that turned out to be from her. We are both engineers and had worked together on an engineer's without boarders project in Kenya and she was going there to implement some of the designs I created and wanted to tell me about it. I had been on a few dates, but eventually realized after getting very close to one of those girls that I was not ready to move on from her. This phone call brought me right back into it. She said all of the right things in apologizing for what she had done. Swore that she was not capable of doing it again and really wanted to work on things with me. For the next year we attended couples therapy together and eventually officially started dating again.

    The next two years were truly the happiest of my life. We were both finishing up our engineering degrees and beginning our careers in the field. Our relationship was very rewarding and fulfilling and we could both see our futures finally coming after years of working toward them. In December of 2015 I asked her to marry me just before Christmas and she said yes. This was the last time we were truly happy.

    About three days after we got engaged, she asked some of her friends to be in our wedding as brides maids. I was pretty upset with this because we had not discussed it at all and I was really not comfortable with who she asked. I felt that they were very new friends and had noticed some traits in them that I didn't trust fully. Non-the-less, they agreed to be in it. Eventually it came time to fill in the rest of the wedding part. About March of that year, I wanted to ask her brother to be my best man. Him and I had grown very close, but her and her brother had a very up and down relationship. They were very close, but had a long history of very bad fights and disagreements. I made sure to clear it with her before asking and let her decide for months before finally making the decision to ask him to be in our wedding as my best man.
    The night I asked him was going amazingly. Seemed so perfect, until she showed up at the pub we were at. In the time it took me to take a * I came out to her alone telling me that her and her brother had a huge argument that ended with him storming off. They have not spoken to each other since (that was almost 3 years ago).

    The fall out from that was a huge family rift that left the majority of the family siding with her brother and her and I on the outside of family events. While the family knows I didn't agree with her decision to cut off all contact, they also knew I would support my (now) wife. The next year was constant family trauma and pain and many discussions about it with her. She began calling herself an abuse victim from the way her brother had treated her over the years. As our wedding approached, it became clear that things would not be getting better with her and her family. We were getting married in Scotland in July of 2017 and our guest list was down to under 40 as a result of the family rift.

    About 6 months before our wedding, she began to plan an event for our club we all belong to with her two bridesmaids she selected that I was upset about. During the planning of this event, many arguments began to happen. In the end, the two bridesmaids teamed up against my wife and it got intense. It was very clear they no longer liked her, but by the time the event ended, our wedding was only a few weeks out. Constant drama.

    Once we were at our wedding, the two of them made zero effort to be apart of the weekend. They avoided my wife and I like the plague. They made if very clear that they didn't want to be apart of this and did many passive aggressive things during our wedding weekend and some aggressive things such as yelling at my wife at one point. My wife has said many times that our wedding weekend was ruined for her as a result. I tried very hard to keep her from feeling this way during it, but she was so focused on them that she forgot to focus on us and our big day. The honeymoon was pretty somber at times too because she was still recovering from what wend down with her "friends."

    When we got back to the states, my wife and I moved in with her parents for a short term stay. This was because her job was sending her down to Georgia for a manufacturing rotation. My wife was going into a deep depression over the family issues and friend issues right as she moved down there. We were going to be apart for several months (except for a planned week once a month).

    Shortly after she moved down to Georgia, she started to gauge my feelings on making the move permanent. She was really liking her role at the plant. I was not totally happy with my current role and was looking for a new job anyway. So I figured, why not and agreed to the move.

    In June of this year, I uprooted my life and moved to Georgia. Within one week of being their I noticed that my wife had become an insomniac. She didn't go to sleep at all. It was alarming. In the first month I realized that she had become addicted to adderall that she started to take so that she could focus while on her anti-depressants. I was very concerned and asked her to seek treatment, which she refused and told me to back off. By the second month down here I realized she was drinking 5-8 drinks a night, often in secrecy. Realizing that she now had a prescription drug problem and alcohol issue, I began doing everything I could to get her to seek help. I was truly concerned she might OD and die.

    Unfortunately, this only pushed her further away. In September, I noticed her beginning to hide her phone from me. Remembering what it was like 4-5 years earlier, I immediately called her out on this. One day later she admitted that her and a co-worker's text messages had become flirty and that there was a mutual attraction. I told I was glad she was upfront about it, but that I would need her to end texting him and show me that she ended it so that we could focus on us. She refused that week claiming that we had talked about being open in our relationship in the past. It is true that her and I had some hypothetical conversations in the past about it. That said, it was never agreed upon or discussed in a serious manner, and I told her that I was not ready to discuss this having just moved down and started a new job and that I don't consent to this.

    Unfortunately, she ignored this and pushed on with what was now an affair. Over the past few months, she has continued to sext message this guy (who is also married and his wife has zero clue of what is going on), lied to me about it over and over again, continued to delete text messages and gas-lighted the * of me. For the sake of our marriage, I have tried to work on things with her and convince her that she needed to cut off things with this guy for us to have a change. We eventually started going to marriage counseling and she had to hear it form the therapist's mouth that what she was doing was infidelity and an affair and that the best thing to do would be to cut off the affair partner. The therapist told her that without consent from her partner and his, it constitutes infidelity. My wife had refused to accept those facts. I thought that would finally be the tipping point since she was in such denial that anything I said could be true.

    She is one of those people that always needs to be the victim and is never at fault. We had a large break in between sessions with our therapist. Her drinking had become severe during that time. She was blackout drunk many nights. After discovering that things had become physical between her and her affair partner, I finally confronted her with a 6 page letter that told her exactly what I needed to have happen for me to continue with working on our marriage. This included cutting off the affair and proving it immediately and not texting anymore with him in any fashion. The next day she agreed and showed me the proof that she had talked with him about ending it.

    When we got back from our trip, her drinking got very bad. In less than one week, she got arrested for drinking and driving and had a separate motor vehicle accident that was her fault (even though she said it wasn't). I demanded that she stop drinking at that point. I had also missed work as a result of both events.

    The next week, she returned to work. I discovered that her messaging with this guy started right back up again and was just as flirty as before. Two days after that she began to drink again.

    As a result, I told her on Saturday that I was leaving her and had reached the point-of-no-return. I plan on filing for divorce today. It was a very rough weekend with her going from shock, to blaming me and telling me it was my fault, to begging me to stay. At the same time, she continues to refuse to stop talking with him and claims that she is poly and that is just apart of her. I told her that I am not and that it is one of many reasons we need to break up and our marriage failed.

    She is desperate to keep me in this * because she has no one else. However, she can't own her own * and has to blame me for the issues because she always needs to be the victim. The sad part is that it has been me who has been emotionally abused and is dealing with a narcissist and is the victim. I now have PTSD as a result and am crushed. Yet, she continues to manipulate the narrative to make me the problem. As of this weekend, she went back on even calling this cheating or an affair.

    I am totally devastated, but trying to stay strong and end this, because it has to for my health. It is so hard to leave someone that has been the most important part of your life for 10 years though. Even if they have hurt you so badly. I can't stop thinking about everything we have done together and all of the plans I had for us in the future.

    I am considering leaving my job in Georgia so that I can be with my family for the holidays and then move back up to New York with some friends in January. That said, I am nervous that if I don't get a job soon I will run into money issues in a few months. I really don't want to be alone in this state though.

    Anyway, thanks for reading if you did. I needed to write this out somewhere.

    Cheers,
     
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  12. V For Vendetta Your opinion is wrong, i am right. Gold Member News Writer

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    Best that you've got it out somewhere mate, in terms of being alone through it just try and keep in contact with your family as much as possible and obvs friends as well, being honest lad you will be a lot better off without her and once you get past the early stages of it which are gonna be tough youll feel a lot better.

    Could you not try look on internet for a job in NY before you pack yours in so if you do decide to move your going into somthing straight away or potentially have somthing lined up?

    All the best pal
     
  13. The Bunnet Gold Member Gold Member News Writer

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    Without sounding unsympathetic or aggressive, get a * grip of yourself and get this * to *.

    She's already * about behind your once, and is still continuing to do it - therefore she will ALWAYS do it.

    Don't let yourself get dragged into it any further with this *, and for * sake don't get her pregnant.

    If you're a qualified engineer, you'll get work anywhere over the world.

    I'd have kicked her right in the * a long time ago, and by * I don't mean her *, I mean her vag.
     
  14. leeso-ardoyne

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    * that was some read fella. Im wondering if this is a troll post or serious. I was in 2 minds to reply to your post but said * it in the end, this man needs some cold hard advice like i would want if i where in your situation.

    Listen, your bird has * other people with you knowing and actually catching in the act. How in the name of good * did you deal with that one. Have you no primitive feelings in you to act accordingly when you caught them. That is some serious * right there. One might be able to get over a drunken kiss but getting * is another matter altogether.

    You took her back then shes at it again. Dont for one min think she wasnt getting tooled again when you caught her txting. If not, she strongly wanted too and was in the process of setting it up. Not a * hope she wasnt going to drop them panties for that fella and you know it. Are you sure your not a cuckold, and subconsciously enjoy your wife with other men. If not, you need to man the * up and dump thon one because she will continue to seriously * with your mental state! Ask yourself this question, if you arent really a cuckold, could you live the rest of your life with someone who treats you this way. I think you already know the answer!

    You need to look after NO1 and that is yourself. It will be difficult but you need to get away from toxic people who will bring your mental state to an all time low and * knows whatll happen then. Suicide or in you mad americans case, you hit the streets or schools with ak47s and handgrenades and blow the * out of people. We dont want that to happen, either of them.

    Do you honestly think that when you where a wee * cell in your das sack and won the race of life, that all that effort it took to get here and you now end up with some right aul * that has treated you terrible, contributed to you having a mental disorder as in PTSD, and is now trying to manipulate you to think your the problem! Come on now, do the right thing for yourself before its to late and become another statistic. You have a moral responsibility to look after yourself and now is the time to do it. You have a choice, either stay in this toxic relationship pilled up to the high hills that wont solve your problems or you can do the correct thing and move on.

    I know this isnt the response you where expecting but if i was in your situation, its exactly the advice id want to hear. Non of this balls, ack ya poor thing yee! You sir are a qualified engineer and youve no kids, the world is your oyster ffs.

    Keep us posted! We'd all like to hear a good success story with you moving on and leaving thon one to get banged from pillar to post from fellas that only want one thing from her.
     
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  15. autumn time Gold Member Gold Member

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    Did you ever pass the counselling course you were taking again?
     
  16. leeso-ardoyne

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    A spade is a spade! Counsellers have rules they have to follow. They arent allowed to tell people how it is, they are only allowed to butter people up and wrap them in cotton wool. Its a big scary world out there and people need said to them whats looking them in the face, no dancing about the subject. If people dont like it, tough *, but the cold hard facts of the matter is, they need to be true to themselves! Do you honestly think that man is going to have a happy life if he stays with thon one. If he goes back to her, he deserves a life of misery. You see thats whats wrong in this world, people dont reailse their * lives are of their own making. This man can leave any day he likes yet chooses to stay and get his head * with.

    Listen atumn time, i tell people things how i see it. Some people respect me or it, others dislike me for it but what you see is what you get. And dont for one min think i have a perfect life going by my posts. I dont, i have a * up life as the next man. Im just daft * from north belfast that has a different out look in life than others. Its stead me well throughout my life.

    That man above needs to man the * up, ditch thon one and move on with his life. But todays society, its frowned upon to tell a man, to man the * up when really its the best advice one will ever get.

    Anyway, thats all im saying in the matter. Maybe someone else will have more constructive advice for him and i wish him well.
     
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  17. aeroshady

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    Sadly not a troll post. I am not a cukold at all, just idiot who believed in someone. I should have made it more clear that I am taking action to end our marriage and leaving her. This situation is absolutely hurting my mental state and has been nothing short of abusive. She is hiding behind the term "poly" to make excuses for what it really is: cheating and lying. She refuses to take ownership of any of her * and manipulates anything I say into it being my problem, not hers.

    The difficult part is that we moved to Georgia together and live together. I have zero support down here or anywhere to go. It is very difficult to gain space from her right now. In addition, I can't explain that while I know what HAS to be done, it is still hard to end a relationship with the person that has been there with you for 10 years. Most of our relationship has been rewarding for me. I loved her and it is not easy to give up "the idea" of her. I have to accept that my idea of her is not the reality of who she is or maybe ever was. It is obvious now that she was never fully committed to me and is a huge narcissist. The past 4 months have been abusive and damaging and I have been in denial for much of it.

    I am trying to figure out how exactly to just cut-and-run for a clean break. I need to learn what my options are from a legal standpoint too. I would like to just leave my job and move back home, but there could be negative legal repercussions to such an act.

    I do know this: I cannot live with the decisions she has made. She is trying very hard to convince me that I should accept her lifestyle as a Poly person. I have put a hard stop on those conversations because I cannot consent to what she wants to do with another man and do not want to live that lifestyle. I also know that I need to leave her as soon as possible. It is so damaging to be around her now. Finally, I know that it may take me years to recover from the trauma of what has taken place with her.

    I know that everyone was right 5 years ago when I took her back into my life. I wanted us to prove everyone wrong, but in the end, once a cheater always a cheater reigns true. I am not the first person to make this mistake and I won't be the last. I am very bitter at how she has treated me and I think as more time passes I am only going to hate her more for it.

    I agree that I need to man up and grow a larger pair of balls though. For that reason I thank you for your post. Anytime I start to falter throughout this process I will honestly re-read your post. The honesty and clarity is helpful.

    Cheers.
     
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  18. The Bunnet Gold Member Gold Member News Writer

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    Listen buddy, you might not have anyone in * Georgia, but you'll always get an ear to lend on here. Might always be the most synpathetic, but still there for ya.

    Some might not agree with @leeso-ardoyne but I think for the most part he's bang on the money.

    Grow a set of balls and walk away from this poisonous *-gobbling monster once and for all.

    * any financial/legal ramifications, if I were in your position I'd rather have the clothes on my back and * all else but my dignity and pride, instead of being stuck tied to this *.

    Do the right thing and get home to wherever you feel comfortable and live yer life.
     
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  19. \o/ Gold Member Gold Member

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    Pretty much spot on, but I’d make sure you have everything legally sewed up first. She’s the type of lassie that will go after you with everything she’s got so she has a story to tell anybody to who still believes her * about a vindictive ex-husband.
     
  20. JC Anton In Brendan We Trust Gold Member

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    I hope the relative anonymity of this place has helped you get it off your chest and you feel better for posting. That in itself is a type of therapy.

    You've given someone you love every opportunity and your marriage too. Walking away is easier than trying to work things out. So fair play to you. :50:

    You've made your decision to divorce now and it seems a sound one.. you will be happier in the long-run to remove that toxicity from your life.

    Take care, stay strong.