Embarrassing Stories Thread.

I could use a wee laugh so I thought it would be a good idea to start this thread.

Me and my boyfriend Andy( he wasnt my boyfriend at the time)
were walking home one night, we were chatting away and he asked me if i was ticklish, I laughed and said I wasnt ( i am the tickliest person in the world) so he decided to test me and tickled my sides. I bent over with laughter and I farted, not just a wee pump, I let rip and it seemed to go on forever. Luckily he thought it was brilliant but I was mortified.

Anybody else want to share

 

seeing as we're on the topic of female flatulance....... pulled this girl a few years back and the next morning i woke up very * but she was sleeping. i coughed and moved about a bit to try and wake her but she didn't budge. so i decided to take matters into my own hands, literally, and was having a 5 finger shuffle while checking her * out under the covers when she let out a huge fart! couldnt' stop laughung but finished what i'd started.

i'll get my coat...........

 

Up until there I was all ears

I once through a Guinea Pig on my pal while he was on the job

 

This topic is the best haha

 

im not listening


girls dont fart.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHcDP_Yew-g[/youtube]

 

now we're onto the topic of *, a girl i went to school with agreed to have * * with i guy in my year, when he'd finished she farted and shat all over his bed but thats not the worst part, he was filming the whole thing but she didnt know anyway she cheated on him and he posted the video on the internet.

 

hahaha got a link



ill get my coat...

 

When I was 24 I shagged some old slapper of 50 something. She told my mate's mum in law, who told my mate who spread it like * wildfire round the toon. Next time I walked into the pub I got * slaughtered and still get pulled up about it today...

Still....managed to empty the dirty water so it's all good

 

think i might have downloaded that!!!!!!!!!:icon_mrgreen:

 

I did have but its been deleted due to violation of terms of conduct or something, it was quite rank to be honest.

 

farts are n,t embarassing without a follow through.like the time iwas in the pub usual friday night ,get tanked up in the pub go round the road get shifted for the dancin n get more * ,however on the way up the road to get shifted my body had other ideas ,went into the trees for a wee n let out the usual mid wee pump although this was different i weighed about three stone .needless to say i sneeked through the fields home, shower n oot

 

i wouldnt brag about that mate
just messing

 

My first * was with a girl over twice my age. She was minging too. After * her, I used her phone to call my Mum to ask for a life home. After my Mum said no, I had to borrow bus fares home. Worst part was in the morning when she went to the toilet, I had a condom full to try to dispose of - she didnt have a bin in sight so I lobbed it behind her fridge. I was 16.

I am not pleased with my actions even to this day.....still makes me chortle though!

 

My mate pulled a * nailer on me once... I was about fifteen at the time and my mate Michael was going on holiday with his mum and asked me to check up on his house for a while, like spend a few hours there because a lot of houses in our area were getting burgled. He told me on the phone it was number 27 as it had been ages since I'd been round to his house and he gave me his key. What I didn't know was, he was on holiday, BUT he was number 29 and he had a spare key for his neighbour, who was number 27. So I let myself in, the neighbour was at work at the time, i made myself at home, grabbed some snack from the fridge and was watching the telly. Then I heard someone coming in the door. I thought it was a burglar and the owner thought I was a burglar. Now let me say, the owner was just back from a workout from the gym, where it appeared he went regularly because this * was a twenty stone of muscle brick shithouse.....

Cue to a ten minute chase around through countless back gardens and through a main road (great western road)
Thank * my mate had judged his neighbours pattern well and knew roughly when he was coming home so he phoned him.... the guy saw the funny side but I was embarrassed to *..you should have seen how I shat myself (not literally) when he dropped his gym bag (which I thought he was gonna put stolen stuff in) and charged me..I went right through the back door and * hurdled those fences

I've never lived that down and the neighbour still mentions it every time he sees me.... and I still haven't worked out anything to do to my mate that will top that...he still boasts about it

 

thats a cracker^^^^^^^^^ PMSL

 

pmsl

 

thats beats my fart, no doubt haha

 

belter