What our favourite putdowns

Any response to something like "you're weak", "you're useless", "you wouldn't know were to put that thing"... or stuff like that.


I usually respond with the rather immature but still good "that's not what yer mam said last night"



I also say "ya have a face on ya like a shhhh-lapped *"

 

You are a * and so is your face.

 

Teeth like a witch doctors necklase

 

Nipples like blind cobblers thumbs!

Not much of a put-down but....

 

If your da had've known you were coming, he'd have settled for a *.

Your as much use as a condom machine in the vatican.

You have a face on you like a bulldog licking pish off netils.

 

Funniest kind of put down I've heard was this guy saying to a black lassie....

"I'll * you that hard your * will look like a Ruffle bar that's been stood on!"

 

He's that tight he gets up during the night to make sure he hasn't lost any sleep

 

You've got a * like a stab wound in a gorilla's back.

You've seen more cockends than weekends.

She's had more hands up her than Sooty.

 

Youve a face like a junkies sink.

 

Her * was that fat that the last time I saw pockets that far apart was on a snooker table.

 

your as wanted as a fart in a spacesuit

 

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege.

 

you look liked you tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.

You been dookin fur chips?

You're about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican.

You look like a * trying to * a doorknob.

Oh how I love a good put down.

 

sweating like a hun watching crimewatch

 

you look like the love child of Jo Brand/Simon Weston

 

That * slag has swallowed more * than jaws

 

You're the load of * your mum should have swallowed.

 

Yer maws dropped more boxers than Tyson

 

:icon_mrgreen:


She looks like a dragon chewin a brick!

She looks like a pitbull chewin a wasp!

She looks like she could eat sweetcorn through a tennis racket with them teeth!

She's been licked out more times than a yoghurt lid!