Rangers in 'lottery win' buy out!!

[Vade]

FRIDAY 15 AUGUST 2008

RANGER’S IN LOTTERY BUY OUT.

Rangers Football Club Chairman Sir David Murray stated in an announcement to the clubs fans yesterday Thursday 14 August 2008, that should the right offer be made, he would be willing to sell the club. It appears that his prayers have been answered. An offer has come in from a recent ‘National Lottery’ winner.
Mr Billy MacWearer, a retired Govan Postman and public exhibitionist, who won the ‘National Lottery’ two months a go, has put in a bid for the troubled club.
Response from Rangers Football Club has been varied, Donald McIntyre the clubs Financial Director said “It is good news for the club and we are looking forward to further negotiations with Mr MacWearer”.
Martin Bain Chief Executive states “Any injection of cash will be beneficial for the club at this moment during this transitional period. However I must stress that the deal is still in its infancy and there is a lot to discuss”.
Sir David Murray was unavailable for comment but is reported to be very happy with the situation and is pleased that finally the club can move forward and return to being a genuine force in European football.
Walter Smith and Ally McCoist however shared a different view, they claimed that Mr MacWearer has no connection with football, has never had any connection with football. A very angry Ally McCoist complained “Yet again, this is a sign that Rangers Football Club are totally out of touch with the game. They bring in staff and players that have no idea about the game and just leave them to it”. Walter Smith nodded in agreement and continued drinking his ‘Slushie’.
Later we caught up with Mr MacWearer outside his Govan home and asked about the claims. Unaccustomed to media stardom Mr MacWearer was somewhat shy but did eventually agree to speak us and offered this statement” I understand Mr Smith’s and Mr McCoist’s fears, I do not come from a footballing background. In fact I have never been to a game in my life”. We asked “Why then, do you want to get into football now and why Ranger’s”?
It took Mr MacWearer several minutes to think about this question and he replied “Well being retied now I was looking for something new and after hearing Sir David Murray’s comments yesterday, I thought why not”.
Being undeterred we pressed further “But why Ranger’s”? Mr MacWearer smiled and replied “I was looking for somewhere to invest my win, and if I had won more than a tenner, I would have gone for Hamilton Accies”.

[DustyMcCeltic]

lol nice one! The last line's the punch!

[ali_cfc]

haha

[celtboy]

bassa...lol

[celticdaftdan]

lol good one.

[chanbhoy67]

lol

[GlasgowTim]

the punchline was a bit of an anti climax. i liked the line about walter and the slushie