06-07-2008, 01:23 PM
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#1
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Commentator's Eye
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,374
Credits: 11,575.25
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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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06-07-2008, 01:25 PM
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#2
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News Writer
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 3,809
Credits: 3,772.70
Fav Celtic Player: All time Larsson, Currently Boruc/Robson/McGeady
Fav Celtic Song: Fields of Athenry, Celtic Symphony, LTPS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tim park
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
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These three are the best... they were all good but... pmsl  
__________________
R.I.P:
Phil O'Donnel  Baby Shay Tommy Burns
You'll Never Walk Alone!!
2000 V's on Mickey NOT to win BB with Joe_Rogan (RenegadeT)
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06-07-2008, 01:26 PM
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#3
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alrite dave?
Join Date: May 2008
Location: hamilton
Posts: 1,272
Credits: 10,943.50
Fav Celtic Player: mcgeady
Fav Celtic Song: willie maley
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ah, top tips from the viz.
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06-07-2008, 01:37 PM
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#4
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Celtic Youth Team
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: belfast
Posts: 264
Credits: 2,119.70
Fav Celtic Player: all time=henke..present=big mick
Fav Celtic Song: willie maley
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very good
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06-07-2008, 03:24 PM
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#5
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Celtic Legend
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: near hampden
Posts: 4,912
Credits: 3,507.36
Fav Celtic Player: paul mcstay,Boruc
Fav Celtic Song: you'll never walk alone
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haha quality
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"The life of a single human being is worth a million time more than all the property of the richest man on earth." -che
"Much more definitive and much more lasting than all the gold that one can accumulate is the gratitude of a people."-che
Quote:
Originally Posted by HenrikBhoy
darchville cannae run unless a fucking burger is held in front of him
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If you Want my msn Pm me.
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06-07-2008, 03:35 PM
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#6
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Celtic Legend!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 6,834
Credits: 15,159.45
Fav Celtic Player: Artur Boruc
Fav Celtic Song: You'll Never Walk Alone
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PML |
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06-07-2008, 03:44 PM
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#7
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Celtic Bench Warmer
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,535
Credits: 3,344.55
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haha brilliant..the blood pressure 1 is a belter.
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"Like it or not, everything is changing. The result will be the most wonderful experience in the history of man or the most horrible enslavement that you can imagine. Be active or Abdicate, the future is in your hands." William Cooper, Murdered by the US government in 2001.
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06-07-2008, 03:45 PM
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#8
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Gold Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 7,005
Credits: 8,996.85
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They're All Against Us  |
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06-07-2008, 03:56 PM
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#9
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Armchair Celt
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Dumbarton
Posts: 726
Credits: 5,090.95
Fav Celtic Player:
Fav Celtic Song:
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HAHA, brilliant |
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06-07-2008, 04:54 PM
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#10
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Celtic Bench Warmer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Co.Tyrone Ireland
Posts: 2,383
Credits: 4,171.00
Fav Celtic Player: would be king henrik no-one else compares aiden and skippy are my fave out of the current side
Fav Celtic Song: four leaf clover, fields of athenry and the henrik song
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mouse trap 1 is a cracker lol, god knows it would be helpful its far too handy to press the owl snooze button lol
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"Tu eres mi idolo," WHAT THE GREAT RONALDINHO SAID OF THE EVEN GREATER HENRIK LARSSON-MEANING -"YOU ARE MY HERO"
"Why should I fear Henry? I have in my team the greatest striker of the last decade. His name is Henrik Larsson and he's the only player who I fear. "
Samuel Eto'o
''you talk about ronaldinho you talk about eto'o, talk about the proper people who make a difference - that is henrik larsson'' - Thierry Henry
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06-07-2008, 05:11 PM
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#11
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Celtic Bench Warmer
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: philadelphia museum of art
Posts: 1,518
Credits: 3,434.80
Fav Celtic Player:
Fav Celtic Song:
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brilliant need to try a few of those out.
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Yuriorkis Gamboa
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06-07-2008, 05:55 PM
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#12
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Celtic First Team
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Outer haven
Posts: 2,578
Credits: 17,031.10
Fav Celtic Player: Boruc,Mcdonald,Robson,Hartley
Fav Celtic Song: You'll never walk alone
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Brilliant lol. |
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06-07-2008, 05:56 PM
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#13
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Celtic Bench Warmer
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: I'm not from London you know
Posts: 1,220
Credits: 4,398.30
Fav Celtic Player: Ceasar, Maestro, Lubo, Henrik, Naka, Boruc
Fav Celtic Song: Fields of Athenry
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Fookin excellent, laugh out loud funny!!!
I loved Viz.
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Craig Levin 10 May 2008
Mike McCurry could have phoned me this morning and said: 'Look, Rangers are going to get the three points today - just tell your lads to stay in the house."
"It's Rangers, at Ibrox, so you can't win. An important game going for a title decider? You can't have Dundee United winning that game."
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06-07-2008, 05:58 PM
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#14
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Spirit of Freedom
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 7,503
Credits: 18,671.45
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all make sense too. |
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the champs are looking like chumps
