Best Sicknotes

[SwoopingVulture]

Seeing as it is January bhoys and ghirls and i don't think there was any real light today amidst the constant rain i was thinking about taking a sickie and i was reminded of my mate whose excuse for not turning up for work was that he was in jail. (he wasn't he was just hungover) Amazingly enough he got away with it!

Has anyone else got any top sickie excuses?

[Healy]

diarrhea

[Andy]

lol thats a good 1, did he call them pretending he was calling from the big house?

know of someone that got there partner to call in and say they were locked in the bathroom and couldnt get out, again they got away with it lol.

[Johnnybhoyblue]

A good one I used I said I went over my ankle the night before playing football on astro turf!
Said i could barely walk and had to go to the doctor in case it was serious!
2 days later when i came in without a bother on me told work how lucky the doctor said I was that i only bruised it and only needed to rest it
NEVER FAILS

[SwoopingVulture]

See the problem is when you talk about being ill you have to find an illness that only lasts for one day and shows no signs the day after. Conjuctivitis is also quite a good one.

[irvy7]

i once fucked my foot playing football i had to shove my rigger boot on over it (pain) got in to work just waited an hour and lay at the bottom of a ladder till sombody found me and i was off for weeks full pay

[topbhoy1967]

I told my work I had vital meningitis and went on holiday for 1 week

Ended up with viral meningitis for real last year

I think thats called karma.

[irvy7]

Originally Posted by SwoopingVulture

See the problem is when you talk about being ill you have to find an illness that only lasts for one day and shows no signs the day after. Conjuctivitis is also quite a good one.

i thought that was a made up illness ha








is it not?

[topbhoy1967]

Originally Posted by irvy7

i once fucked my foot playing football i had to shove my rigger boot on over it (pain) got in to work just waited an hour and lay at the bottom of a ladder till sombody found me and i was off for weeks full pay

lol - brilliant

[Johnnybhoyblue]

Originally Posted by irvy7

i once fucked my foot playing football i had to shove my rigger boot on over it (pain) got in to work just waited an hour and lay at the bottom of a ladder till sombody found me and i was off for weeks full pay

HA ur some chancer!

[irvy7]

Originally Posted by Johnnybhoyblue

HA ur some chancer!

needs must mate

insurances pay for all that shit anyway fuck them

[meehan32]

some of these are good, dont think ill be n school 2morrow haha

[Henke67]

Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor,some bricks I had to clear
To throw them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladders in my hod.

Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well the barrel broke my shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
When half way down, I met the bloody barrel once again.

The force of this collision, half way up the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round.

I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel then being heavier then started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.

[SwoopingVulture]

Originally Posted by meehan32

some of these are good, dont think ill be n school 2morrow haha

Lol, you have to con someone much tougher than your boss though, i always found my mum far harder to convince that you were ill. You could have a leg cut off at the knee and your mum would still send you in incase you missed anything.

[meehan32]

yeah ino like.. i always hate them times, u go to school sick at 9 o clock and the teacher phones the house at 10 past 9 saying ur sick and ur mum says she knew nothin about it hahah