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You and your wife need to be on the same side for a start.
Make a plan.
You 2 go see an expert while he's inside.
Decide if he's coming home of if he's out on his ear.
If you he decide he's coming home, you and your wife should together make some rules. Tell your son these rules during one of your visits. Make him understand that for the good of everyone you cant let this shit continue.
Remember it's hard for him, and very scarey to attempt to give-up this stuff.
Maybe offer an incentive.
be there to offer engouragement, help, love, and support.
good luck with your fight.
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